Who is this child?

Recently, I picked Sweet Pea up from After School. And as always, I asked one of the teachers, "How was her day?"

"Oh, great." She replied. And after a short pause she added, "She always has a great day. I don't think she is the type of person who could have a bad day." So naturally I turn to look over my shoulder to see who she might be talking to. Surely she was not taking to me, about MY child. And yet, she was. I guess my look said it all, because she then said something like, "Oh I know, some times they save it all for home." Oh, you have no idea. If only she had seen this very same child, only moments later as we got in the car, freakin' flip out on me because I had forgotten to bring her a snack . And lord knows the FIVE minute drive home was more than any child should have to endure without a snack.

I have always know this about Sweet Pea but it still never ceases to amaze me. She is a totally different child at home then at school - behaviorally. We got her first "progress report" from kindergarten. And as always, at school, follows directions, first one to clean up, great at transitions from one activity to next. I'm thrilled she does such a great job at school. But why can I not have that same child at home?

I know...they come home, their tired from being "good" all days and they just can't keep it together for us. And sometimes I see glimpses of that child. Like when she decides she will do the dishes tonight. Or, when she tries to help her brother when he is mid-tantrum and doesn't want to get dressed. She will negotiate with him, get his clothes and helps him get dressed, all at her own initiative. I know she is a good kid. This is why it so frustrating to not see more of what, I know, she is capable of.

I feel like I don't know that "easy going" child everyone tells me about.

People also say, "its great she's so comfortable at home that she can fall apart when she needs to." I guess so. But sometime "fall apart" is an understatement. She can be down right mean and nasty.

But she's a perfectionist; spending much of her day, trying to be perfect in so may different ways. And while we know perfection is impossible, she's hasn't quite figured that out yet. Which I guess in a nut shell explains the meltdowns. It's hard work trying to be perfect. I just wish she weren't so hard on herself, or us!

Quote of the Week

"Mommy?"

"Yes, JJ?"

"Girls talk too much."

This, from my 3 1/2 year old son. I don't know if I should be offended, or commend him on having such insight at such a young age.

Snow Day

As Jonathan nears the end of his training, we're starting to give thought to the kind of jobs he might look for, and where we might consider living - or even if we would consider relocating. During several of these conversations Jonathan has mentioned the kind of opportunities that may exist more south of us, not to mention, the warmer climate. And though there are many reasons to consider this, one of my primary reasons for not wanting to the leave the northeast is SNOW DAY!

How can kids grow up without snow days? To me they epitomize what childhood is all about. I remember waking up as a kid, running to the window to see what the chances might be that school is cancelled. And then putting on the radio, and waiting to hear if they announce our town. I don't think they even had the cancellations on TV then - which is another item to add to my, "You know when your getting old" list. Then, when you've hear them announce your town, that rush! A whole day with NOTHING to do but watch TV in you PJ's. What could be better than that? In my opinion, at that age, nothing.

Today my kids and I are home early. Work and schools closed. We've bunkered down with our mugs of hot chocolate. Now, I love sun and sand, and come mid-February I may be changing my tune, but today, nothing beats this.

A 5 1/2 year old's list of thankful things.....

1. My family. Good
2. High School Musical. Ah, okay.
3. My friends. Good.
4. The Disney Channel. Ummmmmm
5. My school. I guess three out five isn't bad.

I found this "list" of thankful things among Sweet Pea's papers from school yesterday. Each item was written on the feather of a paper-made turkey. I can only imagine what the teacher must be thinking.

You know you are getting old when....

• Your child's friend's mother, is TEN years younger than you.
• You get heartburn and you are not even pregnant.
• You eat dinner at 5:30.
• You find yourself complaining to anyone who will listen about all your aches and pains...and there are many.
• Your almost 6 year old says to you, "It's off the hook!" And you think she is talking about the phone.
• I know there are others....but I can't seem to remember them right now.

More on the work-life balance

I just read this article on-line in the Boston Globe. And in connection to it, the Globe is taking a poll - do you think its a good idea to bring kids to work, in place of other childcare arrangements? It is exactly these kinds of polls that fuel the fire on such topic as the "Mommy wars" and how to parent in general. You know what I think? Who cares what anyone thinks, or if anyone agrees. Child care and parenting is not, and should not, be one size fits all. Could I bring my kids to work with me - well they are too old now, but could I have? Probably not. I don't happen to think what I do, or my work environment is conducive to that. But that doesn't mean it isn't for others. I could certainly imagine other work environments where it could work.

What I do support is having options out there for people to learn about and know about. And employers who are willing to look at various options that may help their employees achieve a better work life balance. It still blows my mind when I meet people or employers who do not support family friendly options or policies. Do they not understand how making someones life more manageable could lead to better employee morale and productivity? And don't get me wrong....I'm not suggesting employees should have the ability to make the rules and set their own schedules, but why not support options that would work for them in the environment they work in and in doing the job they do? Couldn't it be a win-win for all?

No more fun happen'in here...

That's it. I'm done. You try to plan a nice fun-filled family evening out but, NO, the little ingrates won't have it.

Exhibit A: I got tickets last Friday for Circus Smirkus Saturday night. Our friends mentioned they were going and since it was right down the street from us, and it was forecast to be a beautiful night, I though it would be fun. Picnic dinner, out with friends, and the circus for heaven's sake. What's not to like?


Well, Sweet Pea didn't want to go. I have no idea why. I think she actually get a little nervous about going places where doesn't know what to expect. I knew she'd have fun once we got there so I wasn't too worried about it, but I'll tell you, the whining and complaining ALL THE WAY was just about enough to make the throw in the towel and forgo our tickets. Luckily, I'm as stubborn as she is and so I persisted.



WE ARE GOING TO THE CIRCUS TO HAVE FUN DAMN IT!



And yes, once we were there, it was fun for all. Though of course they kids ate nothing that I brought them to eat and so we spent a small fortune on hot dogs, pop corn and cotten candy, but heck, it is the Circus.



The show ended at about 9, WAY past the kids normal bed time. But they did great. Well, that is up until we were on our way one and JJ asked for raisins. We did have some with is but I couldn't reach them. So I told him he could have them when we got home. In response to this Abby asked for dessert. Dessert?



"We just had dessert." I told her. "Remember that bag of Cotton Candy you just had? Do you know what cotton candy is? Pure sugar."



"Well I didn't eat all of it. There is still some left." She said. Yeah about a fraction of what she started off with...maybe.



I told her that if she was still hungry I would be happy to get her some real food at home. Now, I'm pretty easy going about sweets and all, more than most, I think. But its was 9 PM, and well, they were not staying up any longer to eat MORE crap. But because I was slightly concerned that they didn't have any REAL food, and knowing that when they go to bed hungry they do not sleep well and wake up early, I was somewhat motivated to get something in their stomachs if they were in fact still hungry.



But when Sweet Pea heard she could not have more dessert, the shit hit the fan. Now it is entirely clear to me she is not hungry but is beyond tired and has lost all sense of reality.

Getting them upstairs, into PJ's was a nightmare. Crying and screaming at the injustice of actually having to wear pajama's and then, can you believe, we asked them to brush their teeth. I know, you're shocked. By their reaction one would have thought we asked them to pull their teeth out one by one. FINALLY, we tossed them into their beds and said our good nights. And then I vowed to my husband, there would be no more fun outings for this family. At least not until tomorrow.