Quote of the Week

"Mommy?"

"Yes, JJ?"

"Girls talk too much."

This, from my 3 1/2 year old son. I don't know if I should be offended, or commend him on having such insight at such a young age.

Snow Day

As Jonathan nears the end of his training, we're starting to give thought to the kind of jobs he might look for, and where we might consider living - or even if we would consider relocating. During several of these conversations Jonathan has mentioned the kind of opportunities that may exist more south of us, not to mention, the warmer climate. And though there are many reasons to consider this, one of my primary reasons for not wanting to the leave the northeast is SNOW DAY!

How can kids grow up without snow days? To me they epitomize what childhood is all about. I remember waking up as a kid, running to the window to see what the chances might be that school is cancelled. And then putting on the radio, and waiting to hear if they announce our town. I don't think they even had the cancellations on TV then - which is another item to add to my, "You know when your getting old" list. Then, when you've hear them announce your town, that rush! A whole day with NOTHING to do but watch TV in you PJ's. What could be better than that? In my opinion, at that age, nothing.

Today my kids and I are home early. Work and schools closed. We've bunkered down with our mugs of hot chocolate. Now, I love sun and sand, and come mid-February I may be changing my tune, but today, nothing beats this.

A 5 1/2 year old's list of thankful things.....

1. My family. Good
2. High School Musical. Ah, okay.
3. My friends. Good.
4. The Disney Channel. Ummmmmm
5. My school. I guess three out five isn't bad.

I found this "list" of thankful things among Sweet Pea's papers from school yesterday. Each item was written on the feather of a paper-made turkey. I can only imagine what the teacher must be thinking.

You know you are getting old when....

• Your child's friend's mother, is TEN years younger than you.
• You get heartburn and you are not even pregnant.
• You eat dinner at 5:30.
• You find yourself complaining to anyone who will listen about all your aches and pains...and there are many.
• Your almost 6 year old says to you, "It's off the hook!" And you think she is talking about the phone.
• I know there are others....but I can't seem to remember them right now.

More on the work-life balance

I just read this article on-line in the Boston Globe. And in connection to it, the Globe is taking a poll - do you think its a good idea to bring kids to work, in place of other childcare arrangements? It is exactly these kinds of polls that fuel the fire on such topic as the "Mommy wars" and how to parent in general. You know what I think? Who cares what anyone thinks, or if anyone agrees. Child care and parenting is not, and should not, be one size fits all. Could I bring my kids to work with me - well they are too old now, but could I have? Probably not. I don't happen to think what I do, or my work environment is conducive to that. But that doesn't mean it isn't for others. I could certainly imagine other work environments where it could work.

What I do support is having options out there for people to learn about and know about. And employers who are willing to look at various options that may help their employees achieve a better work life balance. It still blows my mind when I meet people or employers who do not support family friendly options or policies. Do they not understand how making someones life more manageable could lead to better employee morale and productivity? And don't get me wrong....I'm not suggesting employees should have the ability to make the rules and set their own schedules, but why not support options that would work for them in the environment they work in and in doing the job they do? Couldn't it be a win-win for all?

No more fun happen'in here...

That's it. I'm done. You try to plan a nice fun-filled family evening out but, NO, the little ingrates won't have it.

Exhibit A: I got tickets last Friday for Circus Smirkus Saturday night. Our friends mentioned they were going and since it was right down the street from us, and it was forecast to be a beautiful night, I though it would be fun. Picnic dinner, out with friends, and the circus for heaven's sake. What's not to like?


Well, Sweet Pea didn't want to go. I have no idea why. I think she actually get a little nervous about going places where doesn't know what to expect. I knew she'd have fun once we got there so I wasn't too worried about it, but I'll tell you, the whining and complaining ALL THE WAY was just about enough to make the throw in the towel and forgo our tickets. Luckily, I'm as stubborn as she is and so I persisted.



WE ARE GOING TO THE CIRCUS TO HAVE FUN DAMN IT!



And yes, once we were there, it was fun for all. Though of course they kids ate nothing that I brought them to eat and so we spent a small fortune on hot dogs, pop corn and cotten candy, but heck, it is the Circus.



The show ended at about 9, WAY past the kids normal bed time. But they did great. Well, that is up until we were on our way one and JJ asked for raisins. We did have some with is but I couldn't reach them. So I told him he could have them when we got home. In response to this Abby asked for dessert. Dessert?



"We just had dessert." I told her. "Remember that bag of Cotton Candy you just had? Do you know what cotton candy is? Pure sugar."



"Well I didn't eat all of it. There is still some left." She said. Yeah about a fraction of what she started off with...maybe.



I told her that if she was still hungry I would be happy to get her some real food at home. Now, I'm pretty easy going about sweets and all, more than most, I think. But its was 9 PM, and well, they were not staying up any longer to eat MORE crap. But because I was slightly concerned that they didn't have any REAL food, and knowing that when they go to bed hungry they do not sleep well and wake up early, I was somewhat motivated to get something in their stomachs if they were in fact still hungry.



But when Sweet Pea heard she could not have more dessert, the shit hit the fan. Now it is entirely clear to me she is not hungry but is beyond tired and has lost all sense of reality.

Getting them upstairs, into PJ's was a nightmare. Crying and screaming at the injustice of actually having to wear pajama's and then, can you believe, we asked them to brush their teeth. I know, you're shocked. By their reaction one would have thought we asked them to pull their teeth out one by one. FINALLY, we tossed them into their beds and said our good nights. And then I vowed to my husband, there would be no more fun outings for this family. At least not until tomorrow.

Maybe this is the perfect balance?

I finally started my part-time schedule. After 5 years of working full-time, post childbirth, I have finally managed to negotiated the part-time schedule I think I wanted. I say, "I think," because while it is what I wanted, I'm pretty sure the less I work, the less I will want to work. I've always said, "I could NEVER not work at all." But the more the think about it, and the less I work, the more I think, why they hell not. And frankly, as the kids get older, the more appealing the idea of having more time with them is. It's not that I didn't want that time before, though it was not an option financially, it just that...it's easier now. And I really do believe this is the beginning of the time they really will need more of me.

Every time I say this I wonder if it's really true. Do they really need me more? Or maybe I need the time with them? I'm one of those moms who finds it hard to be away from her kids - to a flaw. Jonathan and I have not really have one vacation alone in five years. Oh wait, we did drive to Montreal for my 30th birthday when Sweat Pea was 18 months. (I refused to fly without her so we were left to find a place to drive to that would still feel "foreign.") We left her with my parents for three nights. Four years ago. Since then, we've gone away for a night here and there, but that's it.

I am now finding it easier to go away without them, now that they have each other, and I know they are old enough to understand we are coming back. But it's the day to day I find difficult to miss. When I go out for a rare and random night with a friend I find myself racing to get home. What are they doing? Did I miss anything? I find it difficult to miss any of their every moment. Not that I want to be there for EVERY whiney moment or tantrum over who knows what. But their cool, those kids...and fun, most the time. But it is this very realization that will FORCE me to keep this part-time schedule and not turn it into a total hiatus. I fear I would become so immersed in their lives I would loose my own. (Not that I really feel like I have one now.) But one day, I think having that something for myself, even if it is work, will be the key to allowing my children the space they will need. And what I will need to remind me, I did once have a life apart from them, even if I can't remember it.