Choice is Good

I always said that I wish I had the choice; the choice to work outside the home, or the choice to be a stay at home work. Because when you have a choice, you naturally have to accept responsibility for that choice, right or wrong. And if you make the wrong choice for you, well you can always change it. When you don't have a choice, you lack control, and often the ability to make necessary changes. That feels lousy.

I have never had the choice. I may have, at times when things were REALLY hard to manage, felt resentment about that. But I have recently made a startling revelation. I am thankful I never had the choice. I don't know what decision I would have made. It would have been very tempting to stay home. It's so hard to leave the kids when they are so little. And that time goes by SO fast. It's not that it would have been a bad decision. But I don't know that it would have been the right decision for me. I'm not sure I would have been a very good stay at home mom. Some women AMAZE me. I am in awe of how well they do their jobs as a stay at home mom. And I do believe it is a job - albeit it a largely underpaid job. I have also seen many stay at home moms turn their personal passions into profitable careers - some, almost by accident.

I am starting to get ready to start a new job. An opportunity I would have never had if I had not been working. And though I am stressed about how I will continue to manage the demands of my home life, with the demands of a new job, I feel a sense of accomplishment for getting to where I am. It's kind of like going to the gym - you hate to go. In fact you dread it. But once you get into the routine and start seeing results, you become self-motivated in a way you weren't initially. And that motivation propels you to march on.

The time will come, not so far from now, when I will have the choice. But I think given the past, it will be a much easier choice for me to make.

What bounces off me, sticks to you - A pre-school hazard

I always thought my daughter was the dramatic one. And usually she is. But I'll tell you, her brother is starting to give her a run for her money. Out the blue, he has started saying he does not want to go to school. He says he doesn't like school. He'll cry and throw a tantrum when he realizes it is a school day - and Monday - Thursdays are school days for him. And do you want to know what he says when we ask him what is the problem at school. Not his teachers. Not his friends. Not the snacks they give him. You know what he says?? Go on, guess.......Okay, because nobody in their right mind would guess, I'll tell you. GLUE. Yes, the GLUE. He does not like the glue at school.

"Did something happen with the glue while at school?" We asked him. "No. I just don't like it on my hands." OOOOkay.

Now I find it hard to believe that there is SO much glue being used that he is REALLY having a hard time with it. In fact, I am not confident the problem really is the glue. Perhaps he just cannot verbalize what is truly bothering him. Or, maybe, and more likely, its just a phase and he's decided he'd rather not have to go to school. He seems very happy when we pick him up and they always report to us about what a great day he had. So, though I am not overly concerned, it is heart breaking to see him so upset. If my baby doesn't like the glue, well by all means, I will do my best to make sure he does not have to use that glue.

So yesterday at drop off, he and I spoke to the teacher about the glue. And do know what she was doing when we walked in the classroom. Yep - taking out the glue for the days project. She kindly put it away when I explained why we needed to talk with her. She was very sympathetic. We talked about all the different ways he could either avoid the glue. For example, he could use tape. So far, no complaints about the tape. Or he could use a paint brush to use the glue so there is no chance he will get it on his hands. Yes, she was very helpful and understanding. Because you know, this is serious stuff people.

Change

I am not good with change. Never have been. I like consistency. I like to know what to expect. I do not like surprises. And yet, I now find myself throwing caution to the wind, and leaving a wonderful job which has completely supported my work-life balance, for a totally different job. And while they too seem very supportive of the my work-life balance, I cannot help but feel sick! Yes the change is exciting, and I know intellectually the anxiety associated with this transition will be short-lived, I am currently a mess! Why do we do this to ourselves? Can I not just be happy with the status quo? Who needs ambition anyways?

Here's the thing.......

I support Sarah Palin, as a woman; as a mother. I think it is GREAT that a woman with five kids, the last of whom is only months old, has been selected as a candidate for the Vice President of the United States. Or maybe it is more accurate to say, I think it is GREAT that those factors did not prohibit her from being offered such an honor, because it shouldn't.

But here's where she looses me..... She CHOSE to have five kids. She CHOSE to have a career AND have five kids. She CHOSE to have a child knowing he has downs syndrome. She CHOSE to accept the nomination for VP of the United States, KNOWING that the decision would lead to having her seventeen year old pregnant daughter's face plastered all over the world.

Do I think she made the right the decisions? I don't know. Only she knows her family, herself and their needs. It's not for me to decide. I respect and support her CHOICES. She has benefited from the right to make all those CHOICES....but she doesn't think others should have the same right. How does that make any sense?

A Historic Day

Kudos to John McCain for his choice for VP. And what a day for women around the world. To see the mother of five, the last born only months ago, as a candidate for the Vice Presidency, is truly inspiring. (Perhaps not very politically astute, but inspiring none the less.)

Unfortunately, I'm for Obama all the way - but boy does this make things exciting!

Bed time snacks: BEWARE

You know how annoying it is when one of your kids is getting ready for bed or even in bed already, and they whine, "I'm hungry..." And though your parental instinct tell you to let the kid go hungry because either:

a) They aren't really hungry and are just tying to stall or;
b) They need to learn that if you're hungry, you best eat your dinner because there will be no bed time snack,

You instead, are a sucker and allow your child to help herself to a cheese stick and then get back into bed.

The problem with giving in to this demand, aside from the fact you have already been played a fool, is that your child may not close the refrigerator door all the way, and it will not be until morning that someone discovers this. And you will then have to throw away ALL the food (HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS OF FOOD) and spend your afternoon shopping, AGAIN for MORE food. Not to mention the 7AM trip to the dump to throw away all the spoiled food.

Yep. Uh ha. You better believe there will be no more bed time snacks in our house.

And so it beings....

Or maybe it had a while ago, and I have just now caught on. Sweet Pea has become embarrassed by me. I embarrass her. I realize that sometimes I do still talk about her to other people as if she's not there. This happened just this morning at at the bus stop waiting with the usually suspects for the camp bus to come pick them up. I was telling another mother about a letter Abby had her counselors write to me about her swimming. (Just to provide some background - she has not yet learned to swim and this has become an issue. She wants to swim, and lord knows, I want her to swim. But she is a afraid. And that takes time to get over. Anyways, when she got home yesterday, she was very excited to show me this note her counselors had written - again, at her request, telling me how she had put her head underwater, and what wonderful progress she is making. Of course I was very proud and excited but as I started asking questions it became clear that these counselors were simply writing what she told them too, and did not actually see her swim lesson. And then as we talked further, I learned, she did not put her head under water purposefully - it was an accident. This is not to say I am not still very proud of her, but the situation was not quite as the note represented.) So I was talking with the other mother about this. Our daughters are friends and in the same swim group. And of course Sweet Pea was right there. She came over to me and said, under her breath, "Zip it." Yes, she told me to zip it. I had embarrassed her. And you know, she's right. When they're little we do this all the time. They are too oblivious to know or care. But at 6 1/2 - this is not the case. I really should know better.

But then there are also the times that my mere presence embarrasses her. She used to love when I'd show up at school unexpected to help out with something. But now, some times I just get that look, like, "I am glad you're here but don't even think about coming over and giving me a hug and kiss in front of all my friends." She does the same thing when she gets on and off the bus. I barely get a hug and kiss good-bye. Isn't it a little soon for this?