Chronicles of Chaos

2011-03-30T17:29:00.001-04:00

Came home today to both kids sitting on the couch reading their books. Followed by a "teaching" session where by Abby taught Jason to multiply by 5's and 10's. Apparently yesterday was 0's and 1's and tomorrow is 11 and 3's. I am told he got a 100 on his test. I guess I shouldn't feel so guilty about going back to work.....

2010-10-22T13:01:00.004-04:00

Not only does she now do dished (albeit for a fee), she makes her own scrambled eggs, from start to finish!

Despite her new maturity, she looks so small there in the kitchen, standing on her stool.

Not to harp on this not working thing but....

2010-10-05T08:29:00.004-04:00

Sweet Pea keeps asking me what I do all day and I simply do not think I need to validate myself to my 8 year old! She was particularly irritated the other day when it was raining and she asked why she had to go to school. She actually does not understand why, or how, she can be expected to go school when it is raining out. It is an outrage to her. Why, she says, does she have to go to school when I can stay home all day and do "nothing." That's right - "nothing." She thinks I do nothing all day. What I want to know is, does she think this because I used to work and now I am not, so therefore I am doing nothing? Do kids whose moms have always stayed home think their moms do "nothing?" That cannot be.

On another note, JJ is growing by the day. I swear every morning he wakes up bigger than he was when he went to bed. I see him curled on the ground, unable to move or get dressed as he should be doing, and cannot believe how big he looks.

Despite his growth, he continues to be the lazy human known to man. For months now Jonathan and I have been a little concerned he is not quite reading yet. Sweet Pea was an early reader so though I know the range of normal is VERY large, our perception is slightly skewed because of her. Every night he wants us to read to him and really not all that interested in giving it a go himself. Then the other day in the car, he started reading signs out loud: "School Bus", "Do not enter", "Open", "Closed". I was shocked. The boy can in fact read and simply just chooses not to because why read himself when we can do it for him. I do not know why I am so shocked. This is the same boy who I took to the doctor when he was a baby convinced he had some muscular disease because he was not climbing steps or even feeding himself. Turns out - perfectly healthy, just plain lazy! And least some things never change.

I think I might be the worst stay at home mom....

2010-09-24T11:53:00.006-04:00

My house is a mess. I cannot seem to keep up with the laundry. My kids come home from school and though I have had all day to myself, I really just want to watch Oprah. It is her last season you know.

The problem is, when you have so much time its hard to motivate because you can always do it later. It similar to when I was in high school. The semesters I was busy doing extra curricular activities were always the semesters I did best in school. You were forced to budget your time and get things done when you had the chance. When I was not so busy, there was more time to procrastinate, and thus I was less efficient.

It's not that I am not doing anything....I am busy. I do structure my day; I go to the gym, take the dog out for her exercise, go to the grocery store more times then I care to admit, spend some time networking and looking for jobs. But these boring mundane household tasks, I just cannot motivate to do them.

The good news, I am able to cook more. I made this delicious lemon, shrimp and asparagus risotto for dinner the other night. Of course the kids would not eat it....but Jonathan and I enjoyed it. I love risotto and rarely make it anymore. We just don't do the carb dinners as much as we used to. But this is worth it once in a while. The ultimate comfort food if you ask me.

Creative Minds

2010-09-20T14:22:00.003-04:00

After accusing my children of lying to me about brushing their teeth, JJ said to me,

"Mom, we're not lying, we're ACTING!"

Clever....very cleaver.

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We, along with the rest of the world, went apple picking this weekend. I think I am over apple picking. It seems absurd to me to pay $30+ for apples. Most of which will never make it out of the bag. There are just too many to eat. And too many to put into pies. And nobody wants your apples, or you apple pie, because they have their own apples and apple pie.

It's fun as an outing, unless of course you go on Yom Kippur, which is what we did. Thus we could not even eat the apples, or more importantly, the cider donuts they sell at the orchard. This is a mistake I will not make again. That is, assuming by this time next year I forget what a rip off it is, and go back...which is usually the case.

First Day of 1st and 3rd Grades

2010-09-01T09:01:00.005-04:00

Sweet Pea let me take her picture:

JJ was not as obliging:

But then gave in to the guilt:

He woke up very early this morning, very excited about the first day. (Though he had to fall asleep in my bed last night because his stomach hurt so much. A case of the hebegebe's is my guess.) He hopped on top of the bed and said:

"I love you like a piece of pie."

"A piece of pie, or a pizza pie?" I asked

"A piece of pie."

"But you don't like pie." I pointed out.

A pause.

"A pizza pie!"

Can't beat a pizza pie.

Top ten nine things about a rainy vacation...

2010-08-24T13:26:00.004-04:00

1) Little to no laundry to do.
2) No sunscreen application and no risk of sunburn.
3) No real reason to shower.
4) No pressure to get out to the house by 10 AM for fear the beach parking lot will fill up.
5) Lots and lots and lots and lots of time to read.
6) No sand in the house or car.
7) No traffic.
8) Lots and lots and lots of trip to the candy store. (But note: cut kids off before 8:30 PM or else all hell will break loose at bed time.)
9) No worries about not fitting into your swim suit because of how much you are eating.
10) ........

That's the best I can do. Nine. Can't come up with another thing. We are on day 3 of a week long "beach" vacation and have had little to no glimps of the sun. No even just no sun - a summer nor'easter really. Worst still, the kids have chosen this as the time to decide they do not want to watch, or like, tv. Really? Could the timing be worse?

Here is a picture of the tide during the storm. The picture does not do it justice. Think "perfect storm."

Here is a picture of the other kind of perfect storm - kids stuck in the house for days.

And this.....we packed all this before we saw the weather forecast. Thank the lord. It may be the only thing that gets us through.

Don't worry. It's not just Jonathan and I here. No, we could never drink all that ourselves. My parents are here too. That should be enough for four people - don't ya think?

Wish us luck.

Operation Garage Organization

2010-08-16T09:21:00.006-04:00

For the past 6 months we have talked and talked and talked about getting a garage organization system. In fact it was one of those slightly annoying things Jonathan started planning in his head when we first looked at the house. Along of course, with the surround sound stereo system which is still a work in progress. Because, you know, it was way more important than the heating system or the electrically work.

So we looked on-line. We looked through many a catalog coveting the way they made it all look so simple to be organized. We went to The Container Store and after about 10 minutes we were so overwhelmed with both the design process and cost, we left.

But there are some things that can motivate you to take action, fast. That, here in Massachusetts, is Tax Free Weekend. That's right - no tax on most anything up to $25oo. And I can tell you, we had no plans to spend that much on a garage system.

So after failing to motivate on Saturday, on Sunday we moved full speed ahead. After a very satisfying brunch with friends where we totally overloaded on carbs (bagels, coffee cake, french toast, monkey bread......seriously it was a carb-nival. Yes, I totally just made that word up! ) we were off to Home Depot. I think the carbs by the way may have been the secret to our success. Because I am pretty sure I could not have put up with the unruly behavior of my children had it not been for the carbs in my system. They were, the children that is, a NIGHTMARE. Literally, wrestling in the isles. It was horrifying. One the sales people who came to help us said he would have come over sooner but was mesmerized by the wrestling match taking place right before his eyes. It was one of those moments when you want to grab you kid and shake some sense into them. But since that would be child abuse, I went with the eyes. You know that look....when you look them straight in the eyes with a bit of a squint and say, without speaking, "If you do not stop that right now, I am going to make your life a living hell!" And they look back at you in horror and proceed to behave, for about 2, maybe 3 seconds.

Anyways, asking some questions about different options, we went with the Rubber Maid system. It is much more affordable then the Container Store option but just as functional and expandable.

Below are the fruits of our labor. (Well, Jonathan's labor really.) By the end of the night we were fully organized! I post these not because you care about our garage but because I want to remember how it looked that first day...as I know it will not last.

Love (NOT!) Letters

2010-08-12T12:52:00.006-04:00

Dear Costco,

Please do not fill your store with candy, toys and flannel sheets, when it is mid-August. Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, and winter, are months away. To put these things in your store now only makes us feel bitter. Can you not just let us enjoy with is left of summer? Do we really need to be reminded of the dismal winter ahead and of all the things we have to do come September. Really?

I promise, we will come when the time is right. But that time is not now and you would be much better served by showcasing the margarita mix and tanning lotion. I would buy it just to keep the hope alive that summer lives on.

Sincerely,
Pissed off Customer

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Dear Guy at Costco who I know was only trying to help,

Please do not help me again. Yes, I appreciate your efforts to help me lift that heavy carton filled with diet coke. But when you dropped it HARD, in my cart, one of the cans popped open. When I got to the car, the carton was flooded with diet coke and leaked all over the place. I had to go back into the store and return it for another one. So next time you try to help, please do not.

Sincerely,
Not so grateful woman, who by the way is a lot stronger than I look.

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Dear Gisele,
I really meant to write this sooner - sorry for the delay.

Yes, you are pretty. Yes, you are rich. Yes, your husband is HOT. But no, that does not mean you can impose your opinions about motherhood on the rest of the world. You have been a mother all of.....a few months. Right?

I am so glad that breast feeding went well for you. But surely you can understand how it may not for some mothers and that it should clearly be a CHOICE that every woman has. You get that, right? Because it would be a shame to think someone so pretty, and rich, and talented, is really not so smart.

Sincerely,
Just another mom who tried to breast feed and got mastitis twice before giving up AND still tried to breast feed the second time around.

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Dear Self,

Please stop telling yourself you want a job that you don't really want. It just makes the whole thing that much more frustrating when you don't get the job.

Now go, find something you love do and find a way to make money doing it. Go...go now....and stop telling yourself its never going to happen!

Sincerely,
Self

WooHOO - I feel so much better now!

This is why this kid gets away with murder:

2010-08-11T07:08:00.005-04:00

ME: JJ, What am I going to do with you?

JJ: Dump me in a bowl of chocolate so I can lick myself.

Some addictions are definately worse than others

2010-08-06T12:34:00.004-04:00

I am addicted to looking for jobs. I may even enjoy this more than I would actually working in any of these jobs. It's like the ultimate challenge - to find the perfect fit. Not just for me, but for anyone I know looking for a job.

My favorite place to look? Craigslist. There are some very decent postings there and I don't think it gets as wide of an audience as some other more advertised sites. I am, however, a little frustrated that some people who post there think they can get away with paying a lower rate then if they advertised elsewhere. Just this morning I saw a part-time attorney position. The rate? $15-$17, depending on experience. My first reaction was: Are you kidding me? I could baby sit and make more money than that. In fact that is what I pay my baby sitter! My second reaction: What experience warrants getting $17 over $15? I mean really....

If I could just figure out how to make a career out of job searching, I'd be on to something. Some may call that "Recruiting" but I don't want to work for the companies. I'd much rather find people jobs. And you can't really ask people who are unemployed to PAY YOU to find them a job. Right?

Today, you can call me Goldilocks

2010-07-21T14:34:00.004-04:00

I am having one of those days, when nothings seems not quite right and I am easily annoyed by pretty much.....everything. For example:

Starbucks. How do they get away with charging so freaking much for their beverages? I ordered a medium iced mocha (decaf) with skim milk. It cost $4 something. FOUR DOLLARS for a medium drink. Half of which is ice. And it tasted like chocolate milk. Not sure there was even any coffee in there. I am so done with them.
I didn't get a job that I had pretty much forgotten I applied for, that I didn't want anyways and would have turned down if offered to me. But still.........
There is a fuse in our house that keeps blowing, even when nothing is on. Not sure what to do with that one. Call an electrician I guess.
Cannot think of what to make for dinner that does not require much cooking, that everyone will eat, and will be satisfying enough so as not to want to eat a sleeve of Oreo's for dessert. I think they call it "take out."
Cannot sit outside - too hot. Go inside - too cold.

Yup. Goldilocks.

A lost opportunity

2010-07-15T08:18:00.004-04:00

I don't know how my kids can pass up a freshly toasted and buttered bagel. It is so delectable! I made one for Sweet Pea, after the first two attempts at her breakfast failed, and she refused to eat it. Now I realize she might be not have been all that hungry and clearly had some generalized anxiety going on - her mood was unpleasant, to say the least. but do you really have to be HUNGRY to eat a buttered bagel? I think not.

I had to rush the kids off to camp but on my way home, I'm thinking: It would really be a shame for the bagel still sitting on the counter to go to waste. I'll just eat it for breakfast when I get home and have little salad for lunch.

Well, I guess Lucy had the same thought because the freaking dog ate my bagel! I wonder how she'll like her little salad for lunch.

Why oh why

2010-07-07T09:21:00.004-04:00

Do my children leave dirty socks all over the house, as if the place is one big hamper? I have found them on the floor in pretty much every room. Even on the kitchen counter - Gross!

Do you know there is a place in Hickory Hills, Illinois called The Dirty Sock Bar and Grill? I am not sure I'd want eat there, though I supposed it's really no different then my own home...

The Danger in House Work after 5 PM

2010-07-02T12:27:00.004-04:00

Why is it, when you have two kids, a husband, a dog, a job (albeit part-time), and a house to take care of, does it still not feel acceptable to sit down when you have the chance and just RELAX. Why do you (or should I say, I) feel like I always have to be doing something. Even when I do sit on my butt, I feel guilty. I should be doing SOMETHING.

So yesterday, although I had a horrible headache and was so tired...the kind of tired you are when every step feels like an effort, I decided I really should be productive. There were dishes and laundry and endless other little tasks to be done.

I did the dishes first; loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, and then headed upstairs to put the laundry in. We had just gotten a new laundry detergent...one of those high efficiency formulas that apparently you must use when you have a high efficiency machine. I personally feel like this must be crap and a marketing ploy to make people spend more money, but the sales person who sold us the machine did his due diligence and sufficiently scared me enough to believe I would ruin my new machine if I did not use the specified detergent. Anyways, as this was a new kind of the detergent, I was not sure how much to use. Jonathan hand placed the new detergent (which is in a large BJ's style container) on the shelf about the washer and dryer. I filled the cup part way with detergent and as I was trying to turn the container around, to see how much more to add, the container came flying off the shelf, and dumped what was already in the cup and then some, over my head. I was covered in laundry detergent. It looked as if I had been slimmed with laundry detergent.

I wish I had thought to take a picture but really who needs evidence of such a mishap.

There was nothing I could do except head straight for the shower where I proceeded to rise off all the detergent. I have no idea what this stuff could do to you skin and hair - I mean it is high efficiency shit.

After getting dressed, I went back to wipe up the walls and floor in the laundry room which were doused in detergent. And then did what I should have done in the first place. I poured myself a glass of wine and read a magazine on the deck.

I used to be so good and doing nothing - before I had kids. I hope when my kids are grown that comes back to me. It's a skill I never fully appreciated.

Conversation while on vacation...

2010-06-27T16:49:00.005-04:00

JJ: Daddy, can you buy me one of those stupid useless toys that I will play with for two seconds and then loose? (Okay that was not exactly what he said, but you get the point.)

Jonathan: Sorry buddy, I'm totally broke.

Moment of silence.

JJ: Daddy, how did you break?

Rules for Parents at School Functions

2010-06-18T07:33:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple weeks there have been many, MANY end of the year school functions. Sweet Pea has provided me a set of rules I am to follow when attending such functions with her:

1) No hugs or kisses. Obviously.
2) No whispering to her.
3) No singing - even if everyone else is singing.
4) No talking about boys.
5) Do not be embarrassing in any way.

I am troubled she felt she had to set these "rules" for me, though the only I really struggled with was number 3 - no singing. When there was a group song at her class picnic and I started to sing she gave me a look of death. Guess I won't be doing that again.

So far the only one JJ seems to be in agreement with is number (1) - which has been very clear to me all year. When the bus arrives to pick him for school I have to suffer with simply a wave....

It's not easy being a parent.

Everybody needs somebody to lean on....

2010-06-17T19:11:00.003-04:00

In this case, it happens to be a dog.

2010-05-06T07:12:00.002-04:00

Here is a great article on work-life balance for moms. It does not contain any secrets to finding the perfect solution. In fact its more of a sobering reality - but still nice to know you're not the only one trying to scream at your kids in silence when on a "work" call!

This is my kids in the morning (on the weekend)...

2010-05-02T14:30:00.001-04:00

Do you think we're doing something wrong? (Don't answer that.)

Random thoughts...

2010-04-17T12:57:00.005-04:00

Why when you are driving a specific route to see which way is faster to go, do you inevitably get stuck behind some slow poke screwing up your whole test?

Why can you never read those scramble codes that you are supposed to decipher in order to access some secured site?

Our plan to have a basement where the kids can play and watch TV has slightly backfired. Now, Sweat Pea thinks it is her OWN private place to "be alone." A little suspect don't ya think? Not to mention still leaves me upstairs with a 5 year old and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Why is my idea of a nice Friday afternoon sitting on the patio with a book, not the same as JJ's, whose idea of a nice Friday afternoon is playing tag with me? Does he not know how tired I am???

Hump.

Back to work

2010-04-17T12:46:00.003-04:00

I've been back to work with no time to write. There have been a few things over the past several weeks that I thought to myself, "I have to remember to write that down." And then when I went to post it, nothing. No recollection of what I wanted to say.

What I can say, is that I am still loving the bread. Except being back to work, its not as easy for me to make. Take last week for example. Made the bread. Left it out to proof. But instead of putting in the fridge after an hour I left it out for, oh, I don't know.....maybe 14 hours. So long that it proofed so much, the lid popped off. Still I didn't notice (or remember) until Jonathan said, "Is the bread supposed to do that?"

No, no it's not.

Ahhhhh....the joys of going back to work and feeling like a totally competent idiot.

I have one word for you.....

2010-03-08T09:07:00.008-05:00

BREAD!

I have found (actually not true....my uncle discovered this bread and for that I will always be grateful to him) the best bread EVER and I must share it with the world. Seriously, I have no reason to ever buy bread again. This bread is as good as any bread you could buy in a bakery and certainly better than any you would buy at the grocery store.

It's dense, yet moist; soft on the inside, yet a crunchy crust on the outside. Perfect on its own, along side a bowl of soup, or for a tasty sandwich. I am telling you - perfection!

And it gets better....it is SO easy. I am not exaggerating. You will spend 3 minutes on this bread and have warm hot bread waiting. It is mixed and baked all in one pot. Hence no clean up! The one disadvantage is that it does need to "proof" overnight. I know....those of us who seek instant gratification struggle with this step but if you plan according, and bake the bread while you still have some left, its not a big deal.

Here is the even better news. The original recipe (which is a Jacques Pepin's one pot bread recipe) was made with all white flour. I, however, having loved this bread SO much and needing to eat it every day, decided I needed add at least a couple redeeming ingredients. So I substituted 1/4 of the white flour with whole wheat flour and added about 1-2 tablespoons of flax seed. It was AWESOME!

See for yourself....

Here is the recipe - (And just so I don't get sued....I feel the need to reiterate credit for the original recipe* and the method of baking, all goes to Jacques Pepin. Love ya Jacques!)

In a 3 quart non-stick sauce pot, mix 2 1/4 cups lukewarm water, with 1 tsp active dry yeast and 1 tablespoon salt. Add 3 cups white flour, 1 cup whole wheat flour and 1 to 2 tablespoons flax seed. (I was not precise about how much I added.) Mix until well combined. Let sit covered for 1 hour. Scrape the sides a bit and push down gentle on the mix to deflate it a bit. (To be honest, this step is called for in Jacques version but I forgot to do it with my version and it did not seem to have mattered.) Refrigerate 12-14 hours. Bake uncovered at 425 for 1 hour. (Cover it after 45 minutes if getting to brown.) Let cool 5 minutes. Take it out of the pot and let cool.

*The original recipe was all white flour and contained no flax seed.

Enjoy! And to all you no-carb, low carb people......moderation is the key.....do NOT deprive yourself of this bread.

A terrible horrible no good very bad day

2010-02-26T16:27:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, I took my car to be inspected. The guy came out and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. I'll start with the bad news. You need 3 new tires - well, really 4."

I was so annoyed. Actually annoyed does not really described it. When you are trying to live with some fiscal responsibility, the cost for 4 new tires, was not in the cards. I realize fiscally responsible people would have saved for an event like this but well, clearly, "trying" is the operative word in that sentence.

He gave me a quote but I decided to make a few phone calls before giving him the green light. First call was to Jonathan because I hate to feel alone in all this bad news. I really wanted him to feel the pain with me. And while I do think he felt the pain, he also said, "Yeah, I kind of knew we needed new tires." Really. Nice to have clued me in. Here I am, driving around all over creation with your off spring on a daily basis, in snow, sleet and rain no less. You might have mentioned it. I didn't say all that but my silence speaks volumes.

Next call was to NTB. I asked for a quote and then waited and waited and waited. While waiting, it occurred to me, I had yet to find out what the good news was. So I asked the guy. "Oh, there wasn't any, really..." But I respect his attempt to make this all better. He was feeling my pain and a little sympathy goes a long way.

Turns out the cost at NTB was the same as this local place around the corner so I gave them the green light - and made sure they take American Express because do you how expensive tires are????

Later.......In the midths of some ridiculous weather, our power went out. It went out right as we put the kids to bed and sat down with our Oreo's and beer. (The Oreo's were mine, the beer was Jonathan's.) Of course the kids were all freaked out so we had to go upstairs and basically go to sleep with them. I'm not generally opposed to going to bed at 8 o'clock, but I generally like to indulge in a bit of dessert before heading up. The thought of dessert is often what gets me through the day. Sad, but true. So shoved a couple Oreo's in my mouth and headed up.

The good news is the lights came on about 2 hours later. The bad news (more bad news) is that we discovered our back basement room is still getting some water. It was the perfect ending to a bad day.

Where do these people come from

2010-02-23T15:54:00.012-05:00

Sweet Pea: I don't think I am comfortable with you reading my e-mailings.

Me: Well then I guess you don't gave to have e-mail, given you are 8 and all.

Sweet Pea: There are just some things I don't want you to read.

Me: Exactly. You do know you are only 8, right?

Sweet Pea: Big eye roll

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Me: JJ! Those are the same pants and socks you had on yesterday.

JJ: I know. I wanted to wear them again.

Me: You can't. They're dirty. That's gross.

JJ: Well then you should have washed them during the night.

Right because its not enough I am a slave to you during the day. I should have to work through the night too.

JJ: These pants make make me cool and I am going to wear them.

This was a battle I chose not to fight.

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Turns out when you go the ER and have an x-ray, and they tell you your daughter's thumb is not broken, they have no idea what they are talking about.

This was taken three days later.....

I am not sure I can live with the hot pink for three weeks. I pushed really hard for purple to no avail, obviously.

You can see in the picture how happy she was. She was THRILLED to get the cast. Until we were in the car and she had a itch. It could be a long three weeks of, "Can you helllllllllp me? I have a cast.....whahwhawhah......." And we'll have to be appropriately sympathetic because we treated her all week like she had a bruised thumb and basically told her to suck it up. (In our defense that is what they told us.) Regardless, no doubt she will make us pay.

2010-02-23T09:05:00.009-05:00

Let me start this of by saying we are as guilty as anyone for letting our kids pass the time at a restaurant playing with their DS's and our iphones, at least until the food comes. But there are limits....at least WE have limits.

Last night, I took the kids out to dinner. As we were sitting at our table, I glanced over and saw a family of four sitting a few tables away. A mom, dad, and two young kids. Right between the two young kids was a portable DVD player. The kids were watching Dora The Explorer, RIGHT there in the restaurant. I tried VERY hard not to judge. We all like and need a night out, and with kids that often means taking them with you. We also ALL know, how hard it can be for young kids to sit still and if you're going to pay to go out for dinner, well you want to enjoy the benefits of all that going out has to offer, i.e. not screaming, whining children who are ruining what is suppose to be a relaxing and pleasant experience. But really, a DVD player right there in the restaurant?

I am pretty lax about these things. My kids often eat with the TV on, mostly because during the week we are not all eating together and I am doing other things while they are eating. (Feel free to just chalk this us to another bad parenting decision.) But for me, part of what I love about going to a restaurant is that we can just sit and chat together. There is nothing else to do - no other interruptions around. It almost forces the family dinner, and even better, when your kids refuse to eat it, at least you didn't waste the time cooking it.

If your kids cannot sit at a restaurant without TV, my first thought is you should not be taking your kids to a restaurant. My second thought is, if your kids cannot sit at a table without a TV, it may very well be because you sit your kids at a table at a restaurant with TV. Crazy insight I know.

In my effort not to judge (I think I am failing at this) I suppose it is possible some kids have "issues" that cannot be managed like most other kids and perhaps these parents were at their wits ends and just HAD to get out and did what they had to do to have a much needed break. I am choosing to believe this may have been the case, because otherwise....get the freaking TV off the table and talk to you kids, or at least scream at them to sit down and behave like the rest of us!

Skating in our back yard.....

2010-02-04T12:07:00.004-05:00

Well, it's not exactly OUR yard, but it is behind our house.

This was right before we discovered Jason had a 102 fever - thus explaining why he was shaking like a leaf while on the ice. It's not easy to skate when your whole body is convulsing.

2010-02-02T15:50:00.003-05:00

My daughter is obsessed with technology - primarily the computer, and e-mail in particular. She wants to check her e-mail ALL the time. Not only that, she is constantly organizing her e-mail. She has files for every person she corresponds with. They are color coordinated! I am telling you, she could teach classes to people about the ins and outs of managing your gmail account. Have I mentioned she is 8?

I know I am partiality to blame. We constantly have the computer out and we too are often checking our e-mail or on the Internet. The fact is, its our source of information - ALL information. We read the paper on-line so we are constantly staring at the computer. I know this does not set a good example, but I found myself having a hard timing setting time perimeters for her, and myself for that matter.

We recently banned her from the computer in the morning. And then I decided a 1/2 hour a night was sufficient. But I am finding it a little hard to stick to. The fact is she so enjoys writing and this is an outlet for her - maybe even a bit therapeutic. Especially since we moved, there are lots of people she genuinely wants to keep in touch with. She e-mails her old teacher, her teacher's aid, her friends. Even a few boys who she would never have admitted to being friends with at school. Their conversations are so cute. (We can read all her e-mail so its not like I am worried she is doing anything wrong. Sweet Pea may be many things but she is, at least for the moment very much a rule follower. Lord help us if, dare I say WHEN, that changes.)

I think I may have to approach this like a diet - moderation.

Coincidentally, I just stumbled upon this article. Good to know there are at least some redeeming values to all this screen time.

In my next life

2010-01-25T09:03:00.002-05:00

I think I want to be Kelly Ripa. I've decided she has the perfect life. A job that pays her lots of $$. Where she just has to primarily chit chat for an hour with various celebrities as just "part of the job." Where someone does her hair and makeup and dresses her, EVERYDAY. Where she can bring her kids to work with her if she so chooses. Where she can still be available to pick her kids up from school and take them to their various activities. She probably doesn't even have to pay for the trainer she uses to keep in such great shape because its probably part of her contract with the networks.

I'm sure there are "downsides" though I can't seem to come up with any. And I am sure the grass is always greener on the other side, but I'd switch sides with her any time!

Hello....anyone there....

2010-01-18T17:43:00.005-05:00

After a long break, but very short time frame within which to move, we have moved and set up shop not far from our digs. The kids are transitioning to a new school, which so far, seems to be going well. I am starting to kick up the job search. Though it would help if I knew what I wanted to do. I keep thinking one day someone will knock on the door and hand me this opportunity that I've been waiting for my whole life. You never know....could happen. I just hope that someone knows I moved!

News? I think NOT.

2009-11-19T14:18:00.004-05:00

Over the past week I have become a little fed up with news. And its not just because of the psychotic lunatics who are engaging in horrific crimes. These are bad, but at least they may qualify as news, as unpleasant as it maybe to hear about.

No, I am talking about the other news. The news about the waffle shortage or that eating movie popcorn is the equivelent to eating 3 quarter pounders with cheese? I mean we do need to know there might be a shortage of Eggo waffles this spring? Could this possible effect anyone's life so much as to make it newsworthy?

And the movie popcorn - really? Do I really need to know just how bad it is. Can't anyone go to the movies any more and enjoy a bag of popcorn without the quilt. Its not like people eat it everyday. For those who do - well they have bigger problems then eating movie popcorn every day - that being the fact they are actually AT the movies everyday.

*******

Sweet Pea is home sick today with some kind of stomach bug. Apparently its the kind of stomach bug where you intermittently complain about how much your tummy hurts and than how hungry you are and proceed to eat toast, two eggs and a bowl of tomatoes all before 10 AM. If she hadn't been awake half the night with stomach pain, I'd really think I'd been had.

All I can say is I hope I don't catch it. It's bad enough to get the stomach bug but at least you can usually look on the bright side by acknowledging at least you'll loose a couple pounds in the process. With this bug, looks like you get the pain and the pounds. Who the hell needs that!

Mama's Boy

2009-11-18T16:56:00.003-05:00

ME: JJ, do you want to go watch TV in the other room with Sweat Pea? Sweat Pea is watching the same thing you are watching in here."

JJ: No, I want to be with my Mama. That's what boys do - be with their Mamas.

Can't argue with that. No matter how much I'd rather be watching the news.

Also below is an e-mail we received from our financial advisor, who happens to have the same name as JJ. Make sure to scroll all the way down so you can see the e-mail he is referencing:

Sent: Thu 11/12/2009 8:55 AM
To: Jonathan
Subject:

Jonathan,

I think something got lost in the translation in this email.

Can you please resend?

Have a great day.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jonathan
Sent: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 7:02 PM
Subject: JJ

Babbj
Hmglf
Vnfjgfjjd
Hkf gfjf
Hfgkfhoff

Gihhfjkogg
Vchvxhchfx
Nnhgnhfcvbx
Gfhgfgdbcxbv
Ggffggddczff
Vvbccbcgkf
Bbbbvbmvjv
Nbjnngkcjxxh
Jxkxjxjxjznxnx
Bzzjxjxjjxnx
Nxncjco
Djdj
Djjfjnddj

Xnjxjxjjjjnd. Jxkxjxbxjxb. JJ
Vzhzhxjchhcjxjhxjxjxhjhx. Sweet Pea
Jxjbxbxbxbbcbxbcbcccbx. Daddy
Hzxhzhxbbxbxbzbxbbzbx. Mommy
Hzhxhhxhxhxnhxxhhxbbx. Nanana
Jdjbndxnnxnxncnzncnsnx. Poppy

Sent from my iPhone

*******

Apparently while we were out to dinner JJ was playing with Jonathan's iPhone. Oops.

My two cent tip of the day

2009-11-11T09:16:00.005-05:00

For what it's worth...we have discovered how to get our 7 year old daughter to snap out of her funky moods - and when you are home from school for a holiday, it sure does come in handy:

Stick her on the treadmill with her ipod and some headphones. I am amazed how happy this makes her. Works for the rest of us....only makes sense it would work for her too....for a few minutes anyways.

*********

Sweet Pea has recently shared with me her belief that one is supposed to attend the college nearest to their home. I have no intention of correcting her anytime soon. MassBay here she comes!

Deep thoughts

2009-10-15T13:06:00.002-04:00

As all parents know the bed time hour can get a little hairy. Lots of running around (by the kids), lots of screaming (by the parents), because everyone has had enough, and we'll we're just tired and cranky. Makes for some lovely quality time.

However, my kids are on to something. They have taken to providing Jonathan and I with back and foot massages before they go to bed. Yes - that's right. They are give US massages. Just when you think you might be screwing up the parenting thing, your kids go do something like this and you realize you must be doing something right. After all, this is the way it SHOULD be.

I realize their actions are an effort to prolong going to bed. This is not lost on me. But those are some smart kids. I would NEVER turn down a massage - not at the end of a long day.

Jonathan and I lie side by side on our bed and they take turns - first Sweet Pea gives me a massage, and JJ gives one to Jonathan. Then they switch. Last night Sweet Pea was even helping Jason master the foot massage a bit - sharing with him her technique. And she's good!

It the event your thinking we might be taking advantage of our children, let me assure you how this lends to some serious quality time and discussion. Take last night for example:

Abby had unhooked my bra strap so she could get the full range of motion over my back. A few minutes later Jason says, "Mommy, why do women wear bras."

"So their breasts don't sag." I replied. Nothing like the truth.

"No really." He said. And then as if a light bulb went on over his head, he added, "I know why. They wear them so their breast don't smell. No wait, it must be to keep them warm."

I think amid my uncontrollable laughter I managed to say, "Yes, you might be right."

So you see, we have some very deep conversation from which I am sure our children are benefiting from greatly.

2009-09-29T14:41:00.007-04:00

Lucy went to the vet today. She has conjunctivitis. Not the kind we think of - not contagious, just from allergies, etc. She also has vaginitis. (I'll spare you the details.) We kind of new she had it but there's nothing you can do about it. Apparently it goes away once they are spayed. I asked the vet if all her ailments were a little unusual. The vet assured me, she is quite normal and this is just par for the course with a puppy. All I can say is I can glad we got pet insurance. Although it's really not that helpful unless you mail in the claim forms which I cannot seem to remember to do.

*******
I am so not liking this homework thing, and its not even MY homework. I'm having flash backs to school when I could feel the weight of the homework hanging over my head. Ironically, they seem unfazed by it. I think that's a good think. I think.

I have taken to paying my son to eat dinner. It seems to be working. He could be a very rich man some day.

2009-09-14T13:27:00.002-04:00

It seems that along with starting kindergarten JJ has also developed a new level of assertiveness, for lack of a better word. The other day we were talking about something (about what I cannot remember) and he was going on, on, and on. I interrupted him to essentially cut to the chase and give him a response. But before I had a chance to complete my thought he said, with a very serious face, "Mommy, I was talking. Let me finish." I apologized, bowed my head in shame, and let him continue, as painful as it was.

Then, last night, he crawled into our bed at some ridiculous hour of the night. Actually, I'm not even sure it was night, it could have been at 5 AM but really, at that time, might as well still be night. As he snuggled up to me he said, "Mommy could you schooch over just a bit, I don't really have much room here." Had I not been SO tired, I would have of course said, "NO! Take your little butt back to YOUR bed where you can have all the space you want." But at the moment that would have required way too much energy, so I did the only other thing I could do which was schooch over.

I then slept for the rest of the night (however long that was) with his knees wedged into my back. I can still feel the knots.

Eight years and 1 day ago today

2009-09-11T14:30:00.006-04:00

I was on my way back to Philly from Boston. I was visiting Jonathan who was staying with my parent while he did a rotation in the area. My flight left at 8: 30 AM. I was 7 months pregnant.

The next day I was back at work, sitting at my desk when a friend and colleague came by and said she just heard a plane hit the World Trade Center. We quickly got on the Internet and went right to CNN. It was about 9 AM. The Internet was not yet jammed with traffic. There was a picture - it almost did not look really. Smoke was bellowing out of one of the towers. We assumed a small plane must have lost control and tragically hit the tower. We had no idea what was still to come.

We soon found out another plan hit the other tower. Word of other lost plans soon began to circulate. Our office was gathered for an emergency meeting. I worked for a federal agency, right next door to the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. While nobody had details, at this point it was assumed these were acts of terrorism. For our safety, we were sent home.

I went home and sat on my couch alone for the rest of the day watching images one could not even have imagined only hours earlier. With the rest of my family in Boston, there was no where to go. No way to get home. No air travel. All bridges between Boston and Philly, closed. It was a feeling I will never forget.

Friends near by who knew I was alone and pregnant invited me to come for dinner. I didn't really want to go. It felt like too much energy to muster when I felt physically and emotionally exhausted. In the end I went and was glad I did. It was better to not be alone.

It was Sweet Pea I was pregnant with at the time. Frankly, I think if I hadn't been pregnant, I would have been overflowing with anxiety. Not that I wasn't anxious as the events unfolded, but I think, even then, some motherly instincts must have kicked in and allowed me to remain as collected as possible under the circumstances. I do remember thinking how sad to bring a child into such a fucked up world.

She is now 7 1/2. She does not know what 9/11 is. How do you tell them about something that that you cannot explain - knowing that all it will do will case fear within them? Fear every time they get on a plane, or find themselves at the top of a high rise building. Maybe it won't be intense fear but they certainly will longer have the luxury of living in the protected world they now know. None of us do.

Five times

2009-09-10T17:56:00.004-04:00

This is the number of times I was at the school yesterday. FIVE TIMES. First time to drop them off. Second time for a room parent meeting. (Serves me right - I should have said no when I had the chance.) Third time to pick up JJ at noon. Fourth time to bring JJ back for his assessment with his teacher. And finally, the fifth time, to pick up Sweet Pea. I mean really, what if I were still working? Could they make these schedules any less friendly for working parents?

Which brings me to the next issue....a possible PT job may be on the horizon. I wish I could say I was happy about this but just when I start to get into some kind of routine with the kids....WHAM BAM...it changes again. I know I should feel grateful - there are many out of working looking for work. But I FINALLY do not HAVE to work so I am having a little trouble motivating. Not to mention I still feel I am looking for that "perfect" career. You know, the one I can do from home when the kids are at school but still make lots of money. Not too much to ask for, right?

At any rate, seems like the job might take some time to materialize so I am trying to enjoy my time while I have it. In fact, I think I've decided we need to move and we should put our house on the market now. We had planned to wait until spring but who knows how long it could take to sell and I hope to able to buy in the spring. Hence the need to sell. The time it may take to get our house into "showing" form will require my full attention so might as well get on it now. Of course every time I look around the house for where to start, I feel so overwhelmed I just sit back down. I guess I'm going to have to get over that.

Days 7-14

2009-08-30T10:19:00.006-04:00

Well it seems that I lost track of the days while on vacation. I guess that's a sign of a good vacation. Below are a few random pictures from those remaining days. There are few. As time went by we got so lazy we forget to take pictures.

A lazy morning (though they were all lazy mornings):

Newcomb Hollow Beach Olympics

Day 6

2009-08-23T08:30:00.005-04:00

Flying kites:

Putting together a very complicated Star Wars kite:

Flying the Star Wars kite:

Getting bored after five seconds of flying kites, lounging on tubes in the bay:

Day 5

2009-08-23T08:26:00.002-04:00

Floating in the ocean - before the surf of Hurrican Bill arrived.

Day 4 - Swimming at the Pond

2009-08-23T08:24:00.001-04:00

Day 3

2009-08-19T08:11:00.005-04:00

While on my run this morning (actually it was yesterday morning), I snapped a picture of Uncle Tim's Bridge:

Day 2

2009-08-19T08:09:00.008-04:00

Ice cream on the beach from the ice cream truck,

and sunset at the harbor:

In other vacation related news, we are creating a list of "new foods" for JJ to try while on vacation since his current diet consists of chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza. Oh, and ice cream LOTS of ice cream. On the list so far: grilled cheese (he's crazy I know); strawberry ice cream - not a new food, but a new flavor. In an effort to make this exercise fun we let him throw in a few "junk" items; an egg, yes that's right my sons never had an egg. And its not because we haven't offered it, about a million times.

Yesterday he had the grilled cheese and strawberry ice cream. He liked them both. Of course he ate all of the ice cream, and about three bits of the grilled cheese. I think he might be out smarting us on this one. UPDATE: Tonight he had grilled cheese and bacon! He ate the whole thing. There is hope for him yet. You know what they say, "Bacon makes it better baby!"

Vacation - Day 1

2009-08-17T06:47:00.003-04:00

I wanted to post a picture each day of our vacation. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring the cord to connect the camera to my computer. So the only picture I have to show so far is this:

It's a picture of the bay at Wellfleet Harbor. It technically was our first day since it was taken the day we arrived. But that day hardly felt like a vacation with the all the packing, traveling, traffic and unpacking.

Yesterday, our REAL first day, we spent at the beach. There was not cloud in the sky. A PERFECT beach day!

Ready or not, here we come....

2009-08-13T11:44:00.002-04:00

I cannot wait for vacation. It's even worth (I'm pretty sure) all the SHIT we have to do to get ready. All the laundry, all the shopping, and dealing with the dog. Oh, the dog.

We almost did not get Lucy because we knew we'd have to go away shortly after getting her and unfortunately the people we rented the house from would not allow us to bring her. But we decided we'd figure it out and well, there is no good time to get a dog - things always come up. So we took the leap and just did it. Very uncharacteristic of us.

After the having Lucy for a few weeks, we asked the breeders we got her from if they'd take her for the two weeks we were to be away. Although it would mean schlepping her to CT, we thought it would be worth it since they are GREAT and we'd knew she'd be well taken care of.

But as time went on, I was feeling stressed about the schlep and the time it was going to take. So I set out to find someone local. And we did. I was thrilled. Until yesterday. Lucy had a vet appointment to get a shot, and turns out she has some parasite that can be contagious to other dogs so the person who was supposed to take her will not since she also runs a pet day care. UGH! I was already feeling pre-vacation anxiety with all we have to do. (I realized this is all for VACATION and really need not be stressful but that is not how my mind works, unfortunately for me!) So I spent most of the night freaking out about how this was our vacation, and how we have to have our vacation, blah blah blah. Jonathan wanted to kill me, and my kids may now need therapy.

We made several calls to potential people who could take her, and I sent an e-mail to the breeders to see if they'd still be willing to take her. But as of the time I went to bed, which was early because I felt the need to put myself out of my pitty state, nobody had called back.

I am happy to report, this morning Jonathan found someone from work to take her. And because I think now feel like the other shoe is going to drop, I also have the breeders lined up as back up, which they were more than willing to do. Thank the lord!

So now, all I have to do is mounds of laundry and packing and count the minutes until I can sip on my cocktail while sitting on the beach. Ahhhhhhh, I can practically smell the salt air!

Another lovely dinner.....

2009-07-30T13:39:00.002-04:00

You can read all about it here.

You know its time to do laundry....

2009-07-29T10:09:00.004-04:00

When your son comes downstairs wearing these:

I looked at him and said, "You cannot wear those."

He looked down, and then back up at me. "Why not?" He asked.

Thinking it was quite obvious I looked back at him somewhat speechless.

I realized this was one those moments I had to capture and grabbed my camera.

"Stay there for a minute buddy."

"Why are you taking a picture?" He asked, "Because it looks so cool?"

"Yeah, buddy, that's exactly right."

He had every intention of wearing them to camp today until I told him they were not even his socks. One is my black sock and one is Sweet Peas. Not quite sure how they ended up in his drawer. To him, this was the funny part.

It was a LONG weekend.

2009-07-27T13:30:00.003-04:00

And not the kind of long as in, three days of no work. Rather I mean, the days seemed to last forever. Jonathan was at work most the weekend so it was just the kids, the pup and I. In our effort to keep busy without really having a plan, here is a round up of some of what we did, in no particular order:

• Walked the puppy, again and again, and again……
• Went for a hike with the kids. They complained. I got lost. Kept lying by telling them the car was right around the corner. Lots of fun!
• Made yogurt popsicles.
• Went to the bookstore to buy the book I had to return to the library because they wouldn’t let me renew it and I was not even halfway done. Realized I was too cheap to buy the book and bought my kids books instead. (Which is how I bribed them to go to the bookstore with me.)
• Tried to bribe my kids to take a nap. When that failed, I taught them how to massage my feet.
• Ran on the treadmill while Sweet Pea played DJ for me. Rockin’ out to Hannah Montana! WhoHooo! All the while listening to JJ scream from the other room, “IT’S TOO LOUD. I CAN’T HEAR THE TV!”
• Let Sweet Pea blow-dry my hair until she burned me with the hair dryer. Note to self: Don’t do that again until she is at least 10.
• Ignored ALL the laundry piling up on the floor.
• Arranged play dates for the kids so I could run to the AT&T store to exchange my dead and useless phone. Realized I spent my whole 2 hours of freedom dealing with the stupid phone and thought, “this was a waste!”
• Played scrabble games with the kids and realized JJ may be 10 before he learns to read. Not a lot of motivation there!
• Talked a lot about giving the puppy a bath. Never gave the puppy a bath.
• Called Jonathan a hundred times and asked him when he was coming home. (Okay, it wasn’t a hundred times. In fact it was probably only once or twice, but I wanted to call about a hundred times.)
• Taught the kids to act like statues when Lucy jumps and nips at them so she stops. Jason now behaves like a statue when I ask him to do something. No good deed goes unpunished.

I think there must have been more….but I don’t think it’s worth recalling since I can’t seem to remember it. It wasn’t a bad weekend, just random and kind of uneventful. We did have three lovely dinners out: One with just Jonathan and I. Another with friends. And one with family and friends.

If I didn’t have to go to work, I’d be psyched it's Monday.

Disclosure

2009-07-20T10:42:00.002-04:00

So as to avoid further upsetting some people (and you know who you are) about my life as a secret blogger, I am disclosing that I started blogging over at this site.

And in other news....Lucy pooped on the carpet this morning when we left her alone downstairs with the kids. Apparently dogs don't just bark to get attention. Oops...

And for the laugh of the day....the kids were arguing yesterday about something, I tuned them out until I head them talking about some girl (a counselor) from camp, and JJ said, "You mean the one with the nipples all over her face." Now tell me that is not laugh-out-loud funny! (Though clearly not for the counselor.)

Sign of the times

2009-07-14T18:05:00.006-04:00

I know the economy has taken a downward spiral over the past year and all but there have been a few recent announcements that are kind of freaking me out:

First, there is talk of closing the Franklin Park Zoo. For those non-local people who may actually read this, this is basically the only zoo in Boston. Can you imagine not having a zoo to take your kids too, especially given that this is a major metropolitan area? It's not that I frequent the zoo all that often, maybe once a year, but with kids and all, you'd like to at least think its an option. There other zoos, in RI and another in Western MA, but this is the zoo most Bostonians think about when they think, ZOO.

Second, one of the local major radio stations is call it quits. Not a station I listen to, but still.......

Third, a local bridal shop that has been an institution of sorts for the past 40 years is also closing its doors. In fact, I went to this bridal shop 12 years ago, after getting engaged. I didn't buy anything but it sure was an experience. Almost a right of passage.

This is getting a little scary. It's not as if these are major, life altering changes that will impact my everyday, but they are staples that have existed around me and if they could go, who knows what might be next. D00DuDooDuDooDu.....(That was supposed to be the Jaws theme....not sure if came through in print.)

2009-07-10T12:15:00.005-04:00

The good news is that Lucy slept all night without a peep. The bad news is that the WE woke HER up at 5:30 AM. Yep, ah uh, 5 freakin' 30. Jonathan got up around then to bike and Sweet Pea and JJ were already downstairs before he left at 6.

What is wrong with my family?? Jonathan nor I had to work today. In fact, it was the last day for awhile where we were both kind of in vacation mode. (If vacation mode is possible with a puppy.) Could we not just sleep in and enjoy a leisurely morning? Oh no, we had to be up at the crack of dawn (literally) starting our day. And it wasn't pretty either. The whining (by the kids, not the puppy) was at an all time high. We went to walk Lucy at 6:45. I was happy to go alone but no suck luck. Both kids insisted on coming with me, probably so I would not miss any of their racket. JJ whined the whole time that he needed a band aid for something....I have no idea what. He thinks anything that hurts can be cured with a band aid. Abby was complaining she was cold and hungry, despite the fact I had already made her pancakes. A lovely walk.

I'm all for Jonathan's early morning bike rides. Heck, I am even a self-proclaimed morning person. But that does not mean I want to be up with two kids and a dog who are all ready for a nap by 8:00 AM.

All I can say is thank heavens for coffee....and camp!

So far so good.

2009-07-07T11:28:00.002-04:00

This is Lucy, most of the time:

No, she's not playing dead. Just very mellow. Similar to newborns, she seems to get a little punchy around dinner time, but that generally consists of a little nipping and whimpering as she tries to find the most suitable place to lounge. And unlike a newborn who always wants to be held, I think Lucy gets a little put off if she is resting and you come over to be with her. She like her space - and I respect that!

I am waiting for the other foot to drop. You know how babies seem to change just as soon as you thought you figured them out. I'm wondering if puppies do that too??

I am also hoping my house does not start to smell like wet dog. That might upset me. But I'm afraid to wash her stuff for fear it will wash the scent of the things that have become familiar to her. I'm thinking she's got a few more days before I have to fumigate.

Lucy has arrived!

2009-07-05T07:26:00.003-04:00

We picked her up on Friday and I am pleasantly surprised by how well it's going. She is a very gentle, smart pup with just the right amount of pep....so far. Only one accident in the house in the two days we've been home. And aside from some whimpering in the crate every few hours at night, she seems to be getting used to it. The kids have been great with her. Sweat Pea is very involved in taking care of her - loves to walk and feed her. JJ is very fond of her but not as interested in her every move and is happy enough just saying hello to her every so often and then going back to whatever it is he doing. Here are some comments they have expressed over the past two days about getting Lucy:

"I feel like I'm dreaming."

"I have waited my whole life for this."

"This is like a good dream."

"Thank you so much for getting Lucy. I guess it will be a while before we get any other presents, right?"

"Do we have any money left after buying Lucy."

"She licked me. She LOVES me."

So even if we have our moments of "what the fuck have we done?" it's clearly worth it. (But just for the record, I haven't really thought that. Really.)

First day of Camp

2009-06-29T10:28:00.003-04:00

My babies went to camp today. For JJ, his first camp experience! He was very excited and hopped right on the bus, almost forgetting to even say good-bye.

Here is a picture with him with his backpack on. It's almost bigger than he is....

It's amazing the things they can do when they put their minds to it. Just this past weekend he could barely walk up the street without complaining that his feet hurt if he walks too much. Selective exertion, I guess.

Father's Day

2009-06-24T08:01:00.013-04:00

For father's day we had a homemade Chinese food extravaganza, prepared mostly by my very own father, with a few additions from other family members. You know being father's day and all we didn't want him to have to do EVERYTHING. I know, you're thinking, "It's father's day. He shouldn't have been cooking his own dinner." But really he loves to cook, and eat, so really, it was the least we could do.

Below are the various dishes he prepared. I tried to get a photo of each dish before the vultures swept in, but they're quick, so as you will see, in some cases, I got a picture just in the nick of time.

We started with Scallion Pancakes (which was the only thing not homemade), and wings, prepared my by brother-in-law.

Next up....dumplings.

Followed by ground turkey and lettuce wraps...

Followed by spare ribs...and those suckers went fast!

And some beef chow fun,

And then, to finish us off, some shrimp fried rice and peanut butter noodles (prepared by my aunt).

I wish I could say we had no room left for dessert, but of course we did. I am embarrassed to admit it was not homemade - but it was tasty!

Bon Appetit!

An entry for "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

2009-06-22T17:26:00.007-04:00

We were driving somewhere this weekend, all of us in the car and Sweet Pea said, "Will I go to X Middle School?"

"Probably," we replied, "Assuming we still live in X. Unless of course Daddy makes us move to Iowa or Nebraska before then," I added. Jonathan likes to joke he's going to get a job somewhere where the cost of living is a fraction of what it is here and make us all move. Not bloody likely.

"Maybe we'll move to Iowa and have a farm. Grow our own corn and live off the earth." He joked.

There was silence in the back seat and then Sweet Pea said, "You mean we wouldn't live on earth anymore?"

Precious, I know. And probably as close to living off the earth (under either interpretation) as we will ever get!

Freedom for the small people!

2009-06-20T07:36:00.010-04:00

Finally some common sense! I love this article. It beats all the other ones that tell us how we are ruining our kids lives by letting them watch TV and eat candy. Now some evidence we can let them run free and it might even be GOOD for them.

And very timely. We have just been having this discussion about whether or not JJ should be allowed to go into a bathroom at a restaurant, etc. by himself. He no longer wants to go in to the women's room with me. So when its just the the two of us, it presents a bit of a dilemma. I've started to let him go alone, depending on where we are, and how well we know the place. I mean I wouldn't let him do it at the airport. But in a small local establishment, I think its good for him.

Just last week we were at the hospital Jonathan works at and JJ wanted to go into the bathroom by himself. I paused for a moment but ultimately decided to let him go alone. I wish I could say it was because in those few seconds I had weighed all the pros and cons and decided it was okay. In reality, I could not bear the idea of the tantrum that might ensue if I dragged him into the women's room. I waited outside while he went in. I do have to admit that after what I thought was a reasonable amount of time for him to do his business, I started to get a little nervous. Just then this man comes out. I asked him if my son was still in there. He said, "Yes. But you might not want to let him go in alone next time, he had trouble reaching the sink. But I helped him."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." I responsed. What I really wanted to say was, "Thanks for helping my son, and for your two cents, but you can leave the parenting to me." I know - a little defensive.

Then out comes JJ, happy (and proud)!

That same night we were in a restaurant with family. JJ had to go to the bathroom, and again, wanted to go alone. Again, I wish I could say we weighed the pros and cons and decided he could go alone but in this case it was pure laziness. We did not want to get up. Not to mention our table was right next to the bathroom so we could see the door and anyone coming in and going out. Off he went. Then someone at the table, (I will not say who), looked at Jonathan and I and said, "I would never do that." Really? So now, feeling like we might have made the wrong decision, Jonathan went into the bathroom after him. Apparently, JJ looked at Jonathan and said, "I want to be alone." They all (the men in the bathroom apparently) laughed and Jonathan made a quick exit. He was fine.

So reading this article was reassuring for me and very refreshing! So what if we'll need even more medication to ease all the anxiety this new found freedom might create.

2009-06-16T17:18:00.008-04:00

When you have children of both genders, there are those who say to you "Aren't girls so much easier!" And then there are those who say, "Aren't boys so much easier!" Generally, my opinion is that on the whole, neither gender is easier or harder, though certainly individual children tend to be more challenging than others. And we each know which of our children is that more challenging one for us. For some its a our daughter, for other's a son.

But last week I lived the inherent challenges in raising a daughter AND a son - but for very completely, different reasons.

Sweet Pea sent a blast e-mail telling half of the people in her address book (which is limited to a select few) that I hated her, yelled at her, shut the TV off, and did I mention, hated her. Had it gone just to perhaps just one or two people on her list I probably would have laughed it off as Sweet Pea once again expressing herself with all the drama we have come to expect from her. But there were some, one, on the list who I knew would not see this for what it was.....an on-line temper tantrum. And I was right. I spent the rest of the night explaining to Sweet Pea about on-line etiquette, as well the very important lesson of the permanency of typing something on-line, or e-mail for everyone to see (even if they think they are not sending it to everyone) and the possible consequences of that, especially when you have said something you know not to be true. And then I spent time explaining to others that my daughter is really not hostile or pathologically angry, just expressive and very dramatic. Could be worse, right?

I think to myself, "Thanks goodness for JJ. I'll never have to deal with this with him."

The following day, JJ went next door to ask his buddy if he wanted to play outside. Off they went riding bikes between our houses. About 15 minutes later he came back. As he was taking off his shoes I asked him what happened. It was clearly odd he just decided to come home without being summons after such a short time. He looked up at me and said, You're gonna be mad."

"What did you do?" I asked, already knowing this was not good.

"I don't want to tell you." He said.

"Well then I am just going to go next door and will find out so you might as well tell me."

"Buddy (not his really name of course) got hurt."

"What did you do?" I repeated.

"I didn't do anything." He said as he hung his head and slumped his shoulders.

"Tell me." I demanded.

"Well, buddy climbed on top of the car and so I climbed on top of the car. And then we jumped off and Buddy got hurt.

And this car, was an SUV - not low to ground like one might hope if they were to find out their kid was parachuting off a car, without a parachute that is.

I told JJ to get his shoes on. I wanted to go next door and make sure Buddy was okay. Turns out Buddy did a nose dive into the pavement. I know, painful to even think about. He was fine, but for a lump and scratch on his forehead. But the mere thought of the possibilities of what could have happened was truly beyond comprehension.

JJ and I had a discussion about how we don't need to do EVERYTHING our friends do and perhaps we need to give more though to our actions, before we act, taking our safety into account.

So there you have it, two truly trying events, each gender appropriate for the respective child, yet nevertheless equally as challenging for me to have to deal with. I guess at least I have variety!

Coming soon.......

2009-06-10T12:29:00.003-04:00

LUCY!!!!!!!!!!

Fan F&%$#tastic!

2009-05-28T16:23:00.003-04:00

The problem with looking for a new job, is that you may actually get a new job. And they will want you to start said job, pretty much, NOW.

There goes my nice leisurely summer.

And now I have go hire a dog walker for the puppy I don't even have yet!

Opposite Day

2009-05-20T20:05:00.006-04:00

Thursday was apparently opposite day. Though I must have missed the memo.

When JJ woke up, as per usually he asked if it was a school day. (He still cannot seem to master the days of the week.....) After telling him it was, and him breaking out into hysterics, he calmed down and asked if I could walk to pick him up at school today. I thought that was a great idea and said I would.

After picking Sweet Pea up from school that afternoon, I told her we'd head home for a snack and then go walk to pick up JJ. She was less than thrilled.

"WHAT? WE'RE WALKING THERE? I DON'T WANT TO WALK THERE." WAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAA. (Yes this is all in caps because she was screaming at me.)

She often comes home from school famished. (She tends to starve herself at school. I'm pretty sure she's too busy socializing to eat. ) I thought after a nice snack she might feel differently. One could only hope. Unfortunately, when it was time to go, she was still not into the idea. I suggested she ride her bike. "But where will I put it?" she said.

"Put what?"

"My bike?"

"What are you talking about?"

"WHERE WILL I PUT IT AT THE SCHOOL?"

I'm still not quite sure why she was worried about this. It's not like we live in the hood. (Though there was a recent bank robbery.) But I was pretty sure the bike would be okay for the 2 minutes we'd be inside getting JJ.

"You can just leave it outside. It will be fine."

"No. It won't."

Okayyyyy. I asked her no less than what seemed like a hundred more times if she wanted to ride her bike. Her response was, "No. And stop asking me!"

We set out on our 3/1oths of a mile walk to the school. There was a lot of huffing and puffing and pouting. Then about 2 minutes into the trip she says, "I wish I rode my bike."

Freakin' unbelievable.

She managed to make it all the way to the school all the while whining and complaining. My daughter has the uncanny ability to take anything that is supposed to be fun and enjoyable and make it COMPLETE torture. Sad, but true.

We passed through one of the near by playgrounds on the way. I suggested that perhaps after we get JJ we play at the playground for awhile. Wouldn't that be fun?

"NO." She said. "I do not want to go to the playground."

Sigh.....

So we got JJ. Who incidentally had completely forgot that he asked me to walk to get him. Lucky for him he did not have any objection to walking home. That very well may have put me over the edge.

As we were walking out of the building, and started off back home, Sweet Pea said to JJ, "Want to go the playground?"

Of course he did. What kid wouldn't? What caused the change of heart, I have no idea. Nor did I care. Off we went.

After about a 1/2 hour at the playground JJ said he was hungry and thirsty and of course I did not bring a thing with me. He asked if we could go to the pizza place on the way home. Frankly, it solved the dinner problem for me so I was happy to do it. I asked Abby if she wanted pizza. And of course she said, "No." However she can not possibly go on another step without water. "We'll get water at the pizza place." I said.

"But I can't wait that long." You know the whole 2 minutes it will take us to get there. The longest two minutes EVER.

When we got to the pizza place, I asked Sweet Pea a couple times if I should get her a slice. Of course she answered again, "No."

When the pizza was ready, I took it out of the bag and there were two pieces. I'm not sure why. Maybe they were small for "slices" so they gave us too. But they were plenty big for kids. And this was good but because you know where this is going. As soon as I gave JJ his slice, Sweet Pea said, with attitude, "Fine. I'll have a piece." As if she was doing me some favor.

When we were just about home, Sweet Pea finally came out with what I now know to be the source of her mood. Apparently she had gotten in trouble at school and clearly it was bothering her. I wouldn't say she got in trouble, those were her word. The teacher saw her rolling her eyes when one of the boys sat in the seat next her -the seat she was saving for her best friend. The teacher responded with, "Sweet Pea, I don't like what I am seeing." She is very much a rule follower so getting called out on this was probably very traumatic for her. Franky, I was simply relieved that there was an explanation for her pitiful behavior. Maybe that was her plan....act like at totally brat so that when she tells me she got in trouble, what she did will seem like nothing in comparison to her more recent bad behavior. VERY CLEVER!!!! Too bad I'm on to her now.

They are weighing me down

2009-05-19T06:59:00.004-04:00

I was putting in some laundry the other day and decided to throw in the fleece that I was wearing. I emptied out the pockets and here is a sampling of what I found:

At least now we'll know where to look for all of our long lost toys. And I'll know what to do when I want to shed a couple pounds!

Quote of the Week

2009-05-18T07:12:00.002-04:00

"You are doing a great job at being the WORST MOMMY EVER!"

This, from my son, as I tried to give him his medicine to treat his strep throat. Because you know the medicine is really just a another way we torture our kids. The ironic part is, I think, their reaction to taking the medicine is really just another way THEY torture ME! How do you think he would have felt if I yelled, "You are doing a great job at being THE WORST CHILD EVER!"? Just so he could see how it feels. If I didn't think it would have scarred him for life I might have considered trying it.

2009-05-11T13:32:00.004-04:00

I am just now getting around to writing about my mother's day. (I know the date above says Monday, but I didn't post this until today, Thursday. I can't seem to figure out how to fix that??) Any how, Unlike last year, this was the kind of mother's day I was hoping for.

It started out with some coffee delivered to me in bed. Followed by a very delicious (yet not so healthy breakfast) at our favorite breakfast spot. We had to wait a bit longer then usually to get in but it was worth it. Think chocolate chip pancakes, eggs benedict, and bacon. I didn't eat all of the above but I had my share of some of all the above, because it was mother's day and I deserved it!

Our not-so-light-breakfast was followed by a (mostly) fun-filled family bike ride. We figured after stuffing our faces silly, we'd need the exercise. We biked for a hour or so on a great local bike trail. Well, most of us did. JJ rode on the back of Jonathan's bike. Not because he is too little to ride on his own but because he is too lazy. Do you think those baby seats are meant for a 5 year old? I think not. Nevertheless it did afford us more riding time so I was not inclined to fight it.

We rode by horses and farms, and even a family of ducklings. It was fun until Sweet Pea decided she could not possible go any further and had to be done. We managed to get back to the car, but not before stopping ever two feet and me falling off my bike as I tried to abruptly stop before crashing into her after her abrupt stop. Fortunately, there were no seriously injuries. Though I did almost kill Jonathan who decided to ride on up ahead and totally missed our near death collision. I mean I could have been seriously injured with nobody around to help me, except Sweet Pea who was very alarmed by my fall and screamed, "Mommy, Mommy! Are you okay." Nothing worse than seeing your own mom fall on her face. But because it was mother's day and I was intent on having a lovely time, I sucked it up, got back on my bike and didn't say anything to Jonathan. Of course I didn't have to because Sweet Pea, our town crier, gave him the play by play. I did show him my minor injuries and he did appear sufficiently sympathetic so that was enough for me.

We spent most the afternoon doing nothing - which was exactly what I wanted to do. Other than baking Brownie Pudding (read for more details of this), I sat on my butt for quite an extended period of time.

And then we embarked upon what I think may be the best mother's day dinner yet. I know my family wants me to document this infamous meal so here was the menu:

Our starters:

Cheese platter
Cape Cod potato chips (this was put out for the kids, but lets face, it - we all love the potato chip. And as my mom tells my children, its a health food, being a vegetable and all.
Homemade rollizonies (one with artichoke and pancetta and the other one with Italian meats).

Our main course:

Homemade grilled pizzas. We had one with tuna sashimi and a wasabi sauce. The other with smoked salmon and creme fraiche. Delicious!
Avocado salad - light and refreshing.

Dessert:

Juniors Cheesecake
Homemade Brownie Pudding which was TO DIE FOR. I had not made this before and it is now my new favorite dessert. If you like fudgy brownies and the inside of a molten chocolate cake, this is the perfect dessert for you. And very easy to make. I highly recommend it, especially if you don't mind eating a bazillion calories in one sitting. But that's what mother's day is for!
Ice Cream (because the brownie pudding wasn't fattening enough on it own.)

It was perfect. Excellent cuisine that left us more than satisfied but not a big heavy meal leaving you overly full with no room left for dessert. As if that were possible.

When we got home, the kids were exhausted and passed out in record time, which in and of itself makes for a great mother's day.

Transition Update

2009-05-09T07:53:00.008-04:00

For the most part I am transitioning rather nicely into my new "stay at home" routine. I love waking up without the anxiety of having to rush out the door every morning. I no longer sound like a drill sargent to my kids, repeating over and over again, "Get your shoes on, WE HAVE TO GO, WE HAVE TO GO, WE HAVE TO GO......) It's a relief for me, and I know for them too.

There are however, a few things I am struggling with. I no longer have a good excuse for leaving the unfolded laundry on the dinning room table, other than I just don't feel like folding it. I feel less entitled to be tired ALL the time. And I feel much more guilty when I don't manage to pull together a home cooked meal (that my kids won't eat anyways).

I'm trying to remind myself, what I have always said, and truly believe: In many ways, it is harder to be home full-time than working outside the home. There are an endless number of things that need to get done. And now that the kids are home with me more of the time, its not as if there's more time to really do these other things. They still get pushed to the wayside, only for different reasons.

I was looking forward to being able to attend all the spring/end of the year school festivities without having to feel like I needed to jump through hoops to get there. Unfortunately, and rather annoyingly, now that I have the flexibility to be there, Sweet Pea doesn't want me there. There was an all school assembly last week where each grade performs. I told her I was planning to go and she very politely asked me not to come. Apparently its too embarrassing with me there. Had there not be a very good gym class at that time, I would have insisted on going, but heck if she didn't want me there, I thought I might as well go to my class. And so I did. But you know, before this, she made me pay for not attending EVERY event. While I went to as much as I could, I couldn't get to everything. When I couldn't get there, I would hear, "You NEVER come to our things." It was like a knife in the heart. Hopefully this 180 she's doing now is just a phase. I'd hate to have lurk in the back of the school auditorium in some disguise.

The other problem with being laid off (or not working for whatever reason), is that it is kind of hard to really enjoy all the benefits of not working, unless money is not an issue for you. Its not like you can go out everyday to meet a friend or two for lunch. Or go shopping for the those few extra things you might like but don't really need. (Though I have become pretty good at defining "need.") Even though I have some severance and I'm sure eventually the unemployment benefits will kick in, it just doesn't feel right to be spending money when in this situation. And going ANYWHERE generally requires spending some money. So I am trying to approach this like a I do food: Everything in moderation. We'll see how long that works!

************
On a totally unrelated note, here was my conversation of the week:

JJ said to me as we were getting in the car. "Mama, you are hot. Will you be my big big girl friend."

If it weren't for the big big part, I might have been flattered.

Kindergarten blues

2009-05-07T11:03:00.004-04:00

My baby had his kindergarten screening yesterday. He got himself all dress-up for his "meeting." It was very cute. Unlike with Sweet Pea, I had no worries about him not wanting to go with the teacher for his "meeting." I think because of her, he is pretty comfortable with the school and the whole idea of going there. For Sweet Pea, it was so new for all of us.

I was however, slightly concerned he might act a bit like a nut ball and am getting increasingly more concerned he will be something of a class clown.

As we were getting ready to go, I made a few comments about how he needed to act like a big boy, not be too silly and listen to their words. I didn't want to stress him out about it so that's pretty much all I said.

He insisted on bringing with him a small toy gorilla. I have no idea why. This toy is of no significance to him. As we were walking into the school he was playing with the gorilla and I asked, "What does a gorilla say?" Thinking this may be a question they ask him if he walks in there with that. And he said, "I"m going to kick your butt." Great. I'm sure the teachers will LOVE that response. Luck for me, he managed to leave his gorilla with me while he met with the teacher.

All went well. Of course they tell you nothing from these "meetings" but my theory, in this case, is no news is good news!

Ironically, the most difficult part of the whole event was returning him to his pre-K school after his screening. He stood in the corner of the hallway screaming and crying (no joke), refusing to go into the classroom. The very same classroom he has been in for nearly a year now. He said he was scared and did not want to go in. I really wanted to be sympathetic, knowing this was clearly some sort of delayed anxiety about the morning and kindergarten in general, but in the moment all I could think was WTF!

I finally managed to peel him off me and made a quick run for the door shouting out how much I love him and would see him later. I am told he made a very quick recovery after I left - which I new he would.

I'm starting to think the stress of starting at a new school, not to mention starting at a new camp before then, could make for a very LONG summer.

Twitter or not to twitter

2009-05-06T18:45:00.005-04:00

I am tempted to join Twitter, primarily because, well, everyone seems to be doing it. (Good reason, don't ya think?) But I have not yet been able to bring myself to join. Does anyone care what I am doing minute to minute? Why would anyone follow me?

I had this same concern with Facebook which I eventually gave into. It took me a while to make use of the status updates, for the same reason: Does anyone really care what I am doing? Then I realized, I don't really care what others are doing but is still fun to read about what they're doing. UPDATE: Ironically, just after I posted this, I read this article which is exactly what I'm trying to say.

The other concern is that it's just another thing to get caught up with and addicted to. I'm already guilty of spending too much time on my computer.

On the flip side, it could be a very good networking tool and many people seem to be using it for that purpose.

What do you think? Do you use Twitter?

The women behind the men (or in front of them)

2009-05-03T15:01:00.008-04:00

Interesting article in this Sunday's Globe about women in business. Finally some evidence to suggest what most of us women have known all along: Putting a women in charge of making the decisions will lead to more success. Or, at the very least, having a woman behind the leader making the decision, i.e. telling him what to do, can lead to more a profitable business.

When you think about it, its really very obvious. If men were better decisions makers and leaders, wouldn't they be more likely to be the one "running" the home and family? The REALLY important work.

Conversation of the Week

2009-05-03T15:00:00.002-04:00

I picked JJ up from preschool on Tuesday and as we got in the car he said to me, "It was a tough day!"

"Really", I said. This was not a phrase he had used before.

"Yeah, a tough day." "Mommy?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"What does tough mean?"

****************
On a totally unrelated note, I'm a huge fan of Friday Night Lights. It kind of makes me want to move to Texas. Well, not really, but I would love to be able to start talking with a southern drawl without having people look at me funny. Any how, I was reading an article in People Magazine about the guy who plays Tim Riggins. (I forget his real name.) I was so happy to find out he is really 28 years old. First of all, high school boys did not look like that when I was in high school. Second of all, he's hot. And I don't think I could say that about a 17 year old high school boy without creeping myself out. So that's a relief.

2009-04-28T12:43:00.006-04:00

It's starting already. I barely remember how I did it all. I've been so busy doing "stuff" that I'm not sure how I would have gotten it all done if I were working. I guess you do what you have to do. It all got done - most of the time.

The other thing is that people have NEVER been so interest in what I have be doing with my day. EVERYONE either wants to know what I plan to do with the day, or after the fact, what I have done. Even Sweet Pea came home and said, "Mom, what did you do all day?" Do you people really think I do not know how to fill the time? Do you think I am home eating Bon Bon's and watching soap operas? Or perhaps you are just so jealous of my uncommitted life. And hell, I don't blame you. But I'll tell you, I've been busy people. Take today as an example: Took the kids to school, came home, went for a run, ate breakfast, took a shower, when to Marshall's to find clothes for kids but actually only founds a few things for myself, went to Game Stop to buy the Nintendo DS games that I promised the kids I would buy if they tolerated being shleped around on Sunday to open houses, went to BJ's, came home, unloaded car, had lunch, drove to a near by town we are considering moving to to see if I could really live there, and then, time to pick up kids. And since its like 90 flippin' degrees out, what else was there to do after school besides take the kids out for ice cream. I'm telling you, we are busy!

I did manage to send a few e-mails out about possible job leads and some networking opportunities, just so I can say I really am trying to find a job. Really I am.

Some very good reasons NOT to have a family dinner:

2009-04-26T20:14:00.006-04:00

1) Your kids will whine and complain to such a degree you will ask yourself is it worth it.

2) In the event you answer "yes," to number 1 above, consider this: Your husband may choke on his food when your daughter turns to him and makes a very specific comment about her female anatomy. (I'd really love to be more specific because it was SO funny but I am trying very hard to maintain some boundaries here....)

3) Then, when you've finally recovered from that really enlightening comment, she will ask, "Who and where is god? Is it like where dead people are?"

4) And all the while, your four year old (going on two) will be curled up in your lap insisting you have to feed him because he cannot possibly feed himself.

You know what, the family dinner is so overrated!

I think this sums up the weekend......

2009-04-26T19:57:00.008-04:00

The water was painfully cold, but it's April in New England so I guess what would you expect. Not that it stopped some....

Still on vacation, I think??

2009-04-22T16:24:00.004-04:00

It's hard to know. Maybe this is just my life now. Being school vacation week and all, it's a little screwy. We're all home doing things like, working out, riding bikes, shopping, going to the movies. I could definitely get used to this.

But I do think I might be having somewhat of an identity crisis. Yesterday Jonathan and I were in the kitchen and the View was on the TV (another reason to think I may be still be on vacation - can't get suck into this stuff!) and there was this women promoting her book about how to make decisions that are right for your life. She has this 10-10-10 theory. I wasn't listening all that closely but it went something like this: When making a decision think about how you want your life to be in the next 10 minutes, and in 10 months, and then in 10 years. When one of the interviewers asked her how she came up with the theory she said it happened when she it rock bottom. For her, rock bottom apparently was being asked to do a lecture in Hawaii and not knowing what to do with her four kids so she took two with her on the trip. During her lecture she signed them up for some hula class. I guess the kids were less than thrilled because they escaped and, as she put it, "hunted her down," and showed up at her lecture. She was horrified. But this was what she described as "hitting bottom."

Jonathan looked at me and said, "Hitting bottom is lying in ditch somewhere all doped up. Not giving a lecture in Hawaii." Okay - I agree. It was a poor choice of words. But I understood what she was saying. As a working mom, she felt overwhelmed, out of control and that as a result of trying to do everything, nothing was getting done right. As a working mom, I know how she felt.

So I said to Jonathan, "You're not a working Mom. You can't understand. " And then he said to me, and brace yourself people, "Neither are you." I was speechless. I am rarely speechless. And he was right. I am not (at least at the moment) a working mother. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just part of how I have identified myself for a very long.

I did manage to at least comeback with, "Well you're not a mother and so you could never understand." So there.

Four must be the new two

2009-04-21T08:23:00.006-04:00

At least for my son.

He skipped over the terrible twos but now, at four, seems to be regressing into terrible two behavior. I had to carry him out of a toy store this weekend when I refused to buy him a toy he wanted. I have NEVER had to do that before. He cried for 30 minutes there after. UGH!

On the flip side, he seems to be coming up with some "lines" that are just too funny. Several times over the past couple weeks, he'll seek me out around the house as I'm doing something like folding laundry (I feel like we are always folding laundry) and will start talking about something random. He talks ALOT. Just chatter all the time, so to be honest, I'm not always tuned in to what he's saying. But when he's done with me, he turns to walk away, looks back and says, "Good talk. Good talk." I'm not quite sure if he's serious, or if he's slamming me for not giving him my undivided attention??

And then yesterday, I saw him checking himself out in the mirror. He had just changed into shorts - not because its warm out, but because, I think, it better suited his light saber that he had hooked on to his shorts. So he's checking himself out in the mirror, and then before walking off he says, to himself, "Lookin' good!" I guess we don't have any self-esteem problems there.

Butt Freckle

2009-04-19T11:46:00.003-04:00

Our neighbors, who have two boys about the same age as Sweet Pea and JJ came for dinner one night this week. Below is an e-mail Sweet Pea sent to my mom about what transpired:

To: Nana
Sent: Wednesday, April 15, 2009 6:29:06 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: from sweet pea

dear Nana and poppy A.J. and M came over tonight and JJ revealed something i did not want him to it was that do you really want to hear well okay he said i have i butt freckle yes it is true i do have a butt freckle write back and i will tell you more Sweet Pea

Of course she was very embarrassed her brother made this revelation at the dinner table with two boys. She ran off mortified. And who could blame her really. I knew she was e-mailing my mom (it was from my e-mail account), but I didn't read it before she sent it. It was too funny not to share. And of course I do so with her permission.

"Life is like a box of chocolate.....

2009-04-18T07:35:00.008-04:00

You never know what you're gonna get."

Monday will mark my first real day of unemployment in a little over 10 years. Just when I finally find myself on the verge of having the choice to work or not work, the choice is take from me. Yes, I have the choice to look for other opportunities and go back to work, which I likely will, just a little ironic, don't you think? (Particularly in light of this.....)

In the meantime, I'm thinking I may either have to have another baby or get a dog!

2009-04-13T19:43:00.004-04:00

I was just reading this article about the decision is Massachusetts to start screening the body mass index of elementary school students. I am disgusted by this decision on so many levels. First, is school not stressful enough for kids these days that they have to worry about being paraded down to the nurses office and have their bodies measured and compared. Are kids, girls in particular, not already self conscious enough? And for those who aren't, either because they are too young to have that emotion yet, or just aren't by nature, aren't we creating a environment for those emotions? Second, do we really need a number to tell us whether a kid is "over weight" or not. It seems to me, you can look at most kids and know they are either slim, average or, perhaps overweight. Do we really need to label kids with a number? What purpose will that serve? Teaching kids about living healthy should happen regardless of their BMI. Third, isn't it really the parents who need the education around this? I can't see this testing as the best way to do that. Many kids who are over weigh have over weight parents - and likewise, many under weight kids have under weight parents. Maybe we should line parents up to have their BMI determined. That might be more effective.

I'm all for nutrition and teaching kids (and everyone for that matter) about making healthy choices. But really, to have kids' bodies measured and compared while in school, a place where they are supposed to feel safe and not judged, just does not sit right with me.

Hello - I'm back

2009-04-12T20:07:00.002-04:00

Just in case anyone noticed I was gone. For the past 6 months I have been immersed in the daunting task of starting a new job while balance they ever-lasting demands of life with small kids. Turns out, I am now just another causality of this economy and will now have more time then I know what to do with. So stay tuned.....maybe things will get interesting.

Choice is Good

2008-10-07T12:04:00.005-04:00

I always said that I wish I had the choice; the choice to work outside the home, or the choice to be a stay at home work. Because when you have a choice, you naturally have to accept responsibility for that choice, right or wrong. And if you make the wrong choice for you, well you can always change it. When you don't have a choice, you lack control, and often the ability to make necessary changes. That feels lousy.

I have never had the choice. I may have, at times when things were REALLY hard to manage, felt resentment about that. But I have recently made a startling revelation. I am thankful I never had the choice. I don't know what decision I would have made. It would have been very tempting to stay home. It's so hard to leave the kids when they are so little. And that time goes by SO fast. It's not that it would have been a bad decision. But I don't know that it would have been the right decision for me. I'm not sure I would have been a very good stay at home mom. Some women AMAZE me. I am in awe of how well they do their jobs as a stay at home mom. And I do believe it is a job - albeit it a largely underpaid job. I have also seen many stay at home moms turn their personal passions into profitable careers - some, almost by accident.

I am starting to get ready to start a new job. An opportunity I would have never had if I had not been working. And though I am stressed about how I will continue to manage the demands of my home life, with the demands of a new job, I feel a sense of accomplishment for getting to where I am. It's kind of like going to the gym - you hate to go. In fact you dread it. But once you get into the routine and start seeing results, you become self-motivated in a way you weren't initially. And that motivation propels you to march on.

The time will come, not so far from now, when I will have the choice. But I think given the past, it will be a much easier choice for me to make.

What bounces off me, sticks to you - A pre-school hazard

2008-10-02T10:48:00.003-04:00

I always thought my daughter was the dramatic one. And usually she is. But I'll tell you, her brother is starting to give her a run for her money. Out the blue, he has started saying he does not want to go to school. He says he doesn't like school. He'll cry and throw a tantrum when he realizes it is a school day - and Monday - Thursdays are school days for him. And do you want to know what he says when we ask him what is the problem at school. Not his teachers. Not his friends. Not the snacks they give him. You know what he says?? Go on, guess.......Okay, because nobody in their right mind would guess, I'll tell you. GLUE. Yes, the GLUE. He does not like the glue at school.

"Did something happen with the glue while at school?" We asked him. "No. I just don't like it on my hands." OOOOkay.

Now I find it hard to believe that there is SO much glue being used that he is REALLY having a hard time with it. In fact, I am not confident the problem really is the glue. Perhaps he just cannot verbalize what is truly bothering him. Or, maybe, and more likely, its just a phase and he's decided he'd rather not have to go to school. He seems very happy when we pick him up and they always report to us about what a great day he had. So, though I am not overly concerned, it is heart breaking to see him so upset. If my baby doesn't like the glue, well by all means, I will do my best to make sure he does not have to use that glue.

So yesterday at drop off, he and I spoke to the teacher about the glue. And do know what she was doing when we walked in the classroom. Yep - taking out the glue for the days project. She kindly put it away when I explained why we needed to talk with her. She was very sympathetic. We talked about all the different ways he could either avoid the glue. For example, he could use tape. So far, no complaints about the tape. Or he could use a paint brush to use the glue so there is no chance he will get it on his hands. Yes, she was very helpful and understanding. Because you know, this is serious stuff people.

Change

2008-10-02T10:37:00.002-04:00

I am not good with change. Never have been. I like consistency. I like to know what to expect. I do not like surprises. And yet, I now find myself throwing caution to the wind, and leaving a wonderful job which has completely supported my work-life balance, for a totally different job. And while they too seem very supportive of the my work-life balance, I cannot help but feel sick! Yes the change is exciting, and I know intellectually the anxiety associated with this transition will be short-lived, I am currently a mess! Why do we do this to ourselves? Can I not just be happy with the status quo? Who needs ambition anyways?

Here's the thing.......

2008-09-10T12:43:00.003-04:00

I support Sarah Palin, as a woman; as a mother. I think it is GREAT that a woman with five kids, the last of whom is only months old, has been selected as a candidate for the Vice President of the United States. Or maybe it is more accurate to say, I think it is GREAT that those factors did not prohibit her from being offered such an honor, because it shouldn't.

But here's where she looses me..... She CHOSE to have five kids. She CHOSE to have a career AND have five kids. She CHOSE to have a child knowing he has downs syndrome. She CHOSE to accept the nomination for VP of the United States, KNOWING that the decision would lead to having her seventeen year old pregnant daughter's face plastered all over the world.

Do I think she made the right the decisions? I don't know. Only she knows her family, herself and their needs. It's not for me to decide. I respect and support her CHOICES. She has benefited from the right to make all those CHOICES....but she doesn't think others should have the same right. How does that make any sense?

A Historic Day

2008-08-29T12:16:00.004-04:00

Kudos to John McCain for his choice for VP. And what a day for women around the world. To see the mother of five, the last born only months ago, as a candidate for the Vice Presidency, is truly inspiring. (Perhaps not very politically astute, but inspiring none the less.)

Unfortunately, I'm for Obama all the way - but boy does this make things exciting!

Bed time snacks: BEWARE

2008-07-24T11:10:00.003-04:00

You know how annoying it is when one of your kids is getting ready for bed or even in bed already, and they whine, "I'm hungry..." And though your parental instinct tell you to let the kid go hungry because either:

a) They aren't really hungry and are just tying to stall or;
b) They need to learn that if you're hungry, you best eat your dinner because there will be no bed time snack,

You instead, are a sucker and allow your child to help herself to a cheese stick and then get back into bed.

The problem with giving in to this demand, aside from the fact you have already been played a fool, is that your child may not close the refrigerator door all the way, and it will not be until morning that someone discovers this. And you will then have to throw away ALL the food (HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS OF FOOD) and spend your afternoon shopping, AGAIN for MORE food. Not to mention the 7AM trip to the dump to throw away all the spoiled food.

Yep. Uh ha. You better believe there will be no more bed time snacks in our house.

And so it beings....

2008-07-02T11:10:00.002-04:00

Or maybe it had a while ago, and I have just now caught on. Sweet Pea has become embarrassed by me. I embarrass her. I realize that sometimes I do still talk about her to other people as if she's not there. This happened just this morning at at the bus stop waiting with the usually suspects for the camp bus to come pick them up. I was telling another mother about a letter Abby had her counselors write to me about her swimming. (Just to provide some background - she has not yet learned to swim and this has become an issue. She wants to swim, and lord knows, I want her to swim. But she is a afraid. And that takes time to get over. Anyways, when she got home yesterday, she was very excited to show me this note her counselors had written - again, at her request, telling me how she had put her head underwater, and what wonderful progress she is making. Of course I was very proud and excited but as I started asking questions it became clear that these counselors were simply writing what she told them too, and did not actually see her swim lesson. And then as we talked further, I learned, she did not put her head under water purposefully - it was an accident. This is not to say I am not still very proud of her, but the situation was not quite as the note represented.) So I was talking with the other mother about this. Our daughters are friends and in the same swim group. And of course Sweet Pea was right there. She came over to me and said, under her breath, "Zip it." Yes, she told me to zip it. I had embarrassed her. And you know, she's right. When they're little we do this all the time. They are too oblivious to know or care. But at 6 1/2 - this is not the case. I really should know better.

But then there are also the times that my mere presence embarrasses her. She used to love when I'd show up at school unexpected to help out with something. But now, some times I just get that look, like, "I am glad you're here but don't even think about coming over and giving me a hug and kiss in front of all my friends." She does the same thing when she gets on and off the bus. I barely get a hug and kiss good-bye. Isn't it a little soon for this?

My Dearest JJ:

2008-06-27T13:30:00.003-04:00

It feels like just a short time ago that I wrote about you turning 3. My how the year has flown, and in the process you turned from a toddler, into a curious, clever, funny 4 year old big boy.

The things that make you so special are too numerous to write, but when I think about you when you were three, here are the things I will remember most:

1) How you giggle in your sleep as if you have just seen the funniest thing. (And I know this because you are often right next to me in my bed - something else I will always remember about you being three, though perhaps not as fondly.)

2) They way you say "a long day ago," instead of "a long time ago."

3) How whenever you get excited about something or anxious to say something, you unconsciously sign repeating with your hands the word "more."

4) How when you talk about you sister, Sweet Pea, you refer to her as "My Sweet Pea."

5) The way you insist on having your dessert next to you WHILE you eat dinner, even ice cream.

6) The way you go through days insisting everyone call you Spider-Man, refusing to answer to your real name.

7) The serious look that over comes your face when you step up to the plate to swing at a baseball - your "game face."

8) That you can barely finish a chicken nugget but managed to wolf down an entire ice cream cone.

9) The way you can lie almost better than anyone else I know, except for me.

10) The way you give me a hug and kiss every day when I drop you off at pre-school, as if you cannot go on with your day until we have our moment together.

Happy Birthday baby! (Also something you will not tolerate being called.)

No regrets?

2008-06-16T10:11:00.002-04:00

I’m not sure I’d be able to say that if I died tomorrow, that I have, “no regrets.” Sorry to be so morbid, but I feel slightly surrounded by death this week. We unfortunately had a member of our family die this past week, and spent father’s days at a funeral and sitting Shiva with family and friends. He was a great-uncle, by marriage. His name was Hiem.

And then there’s Tim Russert. I didn’t know him, but like many people I feel like I did. There was something about his passing that almost felt harder to swallow. Unlike Hiem who was 93 years old and lived a long life, Mr. Russert’s death was so untimely. Although Hiem’s passing was emotional, and a tragic loss, it did not come without preparation. For Mr. Russert and his family, there were no good-byes.

At the memorial service we attend yesterday, the Rabbi said that as he spoke with Hiem a couple weeks before his passing, he told the Rabbi that he had no regrets. I was struck by this. I don’t think, if I died tomorrow, I could say that. It’s not that I have any big regrets. By I don’t think, up until this point in my life, I can say I have truly enjoyed life to the fullest. I feel like I spend SO much of my time worrying about something, and/or stressed about another, that I too often forget to just enjoy life.

And then there’s work. We spend so much of our time at work. And I don’t love my work. I wish I could say that I woke up everyday and was able to do exactly what I wanted to do. Or at least be able to say that there is no other job I’d rather be doing. But I can’t. I don’t even really know what that would be. I’d don’t feel like I ever really took the opportunity to figure that out and I wish I had. It’s not that it’s too late but it not realistic either to think you can just stop in your tracks and re-evaluate your whole professionally being, especially not when you have two kids, and an income that cannot be sacrificed at this point in time.
But this past week was a reminder that life is too short, and too precious, not to be doing what makes you happy - or at least working towards it.

My soon-to-be four year old son has turned the corner

2008-05-29T10:49:00.003-04:00

And it’s not the corner I was hoping for. The terrible 2’s that he totally missed, and that his sister started at 18 months, is setting in. But as a soon-to-be four year old, here is what it sounds like:

“You want a piece of me?” Incidentally when I asked him where he heard that, he named some new kid at school. Great!

“You are the worst mommy EVER!” A title I am very proud to hold.

“I’m going to poop on you.” And every thing else that crosses his path.

He says to Jonathan and I, as we try to help him put on his pajamas because you know sometimes it is so painful (and time consuming) to watch. “Stop it, you meddling kids!” He got this one from Scooby Doo. Note to self: This is precisely why some kids are not allowed to watch TV. Some thing to think about.

Though to be fair, I have to say, some times the sweetest things come out of his mouth like, “Mommy, you dress so beautiful.” And thus is how he gets away with all the other stuff. That and those dimples!

A Mother's Day to Remember

2008-05-12T08:43:00.003-04:00

And not for any of the reasons you might think. What started off as a wonderful, low key morning, where I slept in until 7:30 (yes, that is sleeping in at our house), and enjoyed coffee with my family while opening some mother's days cards and presents, turned into a mother's day disaster.

After opening my presents we ventured upstairs to get dressed and head out for a special mother's day breakfast at our favorite breakfast spot. The kids needed baths since, well let's just say, it had been a bit too long since their last bath. Sweet Pea insisted on a bath, as opposed to a shower which would have been much easier and faster, but it was mother's day and I did not want to argue with her. So off to the tub she went. When she was done, Jonathan and JJ were getting ready to take a shower. I went into Sweet Pea's room to help her pick out an outfit. (Not that she needs the help, but that never seems to stop her from wanting it.) As I walked into her room, which is right at the top of the steps, I heard running water - LOTS OF RUNNING WATER. And Jonathan had not yet turned on the shower. I froze. All I could get out of my mouth was, "Jonathan, something is wrong down stairs." Jonathan came to the top of the steps, took a moment to listen, and blotted down the steps. In that one moments, I knew the relaxing day I hoped for was not going to happen.

As soon as Jonathan got down stairs he yelled, "I need a plunger! Get the plunger." I ran to the upstairs bathroom and threw the plunger down to him. (I don't know why I didn't bring it to him. I think I was in denial about what I knew was happening but couldn't quite bear to see it.) I then made my way downstairs, and what I saw was water (and other various materials) pouring out of the toilet.

"Turn off the water!" I screamed. Still, water is pouring out of the toilet. "We need to shut off the main water. Do you know how to do that?" I asked Jonathan. "Yes, but we need a plumber NOW." "Yes, I Know. But we first we need to SHUT OFF THE WATER."

We headed down to the basement, where water is pour down from the ceiling right below where the bathroom is. At this point we're not sure if a pipe has burst or if the water is simply seeping through the floor. It is also now clear that sewage is being back up through the pipes out the toilet. I burst it to tears. It was one of those moments I just wanted to cry....and so I did. But I quickly pulled myself together. And by this time, the water had stopped pouring out of the toilet.

We got the phone and called a plumber. We got a recording which included a number to call in the case of an emergency. This was clearly an emergency. Jonathan called the number and got an answering machine. He left a message. Not a good sign.

So now, here we are, not dressed, no running water, and shit all over our floor. Jonathan looked at me and said, "Get the kids. Take them to your parents and I'll deal with this. I don't want you cleaning shit off the floor on mother's day." I think that was one of the nicest things he has ever said to me. Though the truth be told, that's just my husband - he would have never expected me to be the one to clean that kind of mess up. And of course I love him for that.

So off I went with the kids. Jonathan made a couple more calls and got someone at another plumbing company who said they would be out to us within the hour. So, long story short (if it's not too late for that) the plumber got there lickedy split. The problems was, as Jonathan described it to me, the perfect storm. The washer was running, the toilet had been flushes several time, be various people over the course of the morning, and the tub had drained. Those things combined was enough to back up the pipes, which over time had become slightly more clogged and corroded.

By noon, and several hundred dollars later, the problem was fixed, and my house was cleaned and disinfected, thanks to a saint of a plumber and a saint of a husband.

We managed to salvage the rest of day, despite Jonathan and I (particularly Jonathan) being exhausted, though he never complained. We had a lovely mother's day lunch out and casual family dinner with my parents, sister, cousins, etc.

************************************************

On another note, sort of. I did get an unexpected mother's day gift from my daughter. You know how you have those moments or days even, where you yell because no ones listening and you just completely loose it and practically scream your brains out? (And hopefully this is not just me!) Then after the fact, or sometimes as the words are flying out of your mouth, you wonder if this is the way your kids will remember you? Or if this is the one moment they will remember about their childhood? I have finally received some sign that those moments, that really are few and far between but for some reason feel, to a mother, feel like they will define you forever, will not.

Sweet Pea came home from school Friday with her mother day's gift; a hand sculpted beautiful piece of pottery she made in art class, and the MOST AMAZING card. The teachers had prepared fill-in the blanket cards where the children had to complete several sentences. Here was the card Sweet Pea wrote for me. (Here responses are in bold).

My Mother

My mother is very special! She always sings around the house.
She never has enough time to do what she wants.If my mother could be anyone in the world; she would be a famous singer.
She's as pretty as a rose.
She loves to cook for us.
She hates to yell when we don't listen.
When my mother is happy she plays games with me.
I wish she would play outside with me every day.
One thing I love best about my mom is that she is great!
I wouldn't trade my mom for a piece of pottery.

It brought tears to my eyes. For some reason this card hit a nerve. She gets more than I give her credit for.

Calling all moms of 3, 4 or more....

2008-05-07T17:44:00.003-04:00

I need input. How do you decide whether or not to have a third child? I know this is a personal decision - and for some, perhaps simply a product of circumstance, but I'd certainly welcome ANY thoughts or advice.

I am VERY torn about whether or not we should have a third child. On the one hand, I cannot imagine having another child. On the other hand, I cannot imagine NEVER having another child. I'm thirty-five; young enough to be feel like I do not have to be done, but old enough that if we're going to have a third, we'd better get on with it already.

Here is the problem: We are finally at a point where things are easier. I don't have to dress anyone in the morning. We no longer need a stroller when we go to the mall, or travel. Can I really go back? Or rather, do I want to go back? Sometimes I think I do. But then I remember how tired I am ALL THE TIME. Will I have the energy for a third? Will I have the patients for a third? I am not a calm, patient, laid back person. Should people like me have three kids?

And then there's the financial issue - will we really be able to afford to send three kids to college in this day and age, and still live the way we want to live? And should even we make our decision based on this?

Jonathan is another issue. He does not think he wants another child. But his rationale is really more like, "where would the third kid sit in the car." You know, really deep thoughts about the issue. (Not to mention we have an SUV - so it's not like this is really a problem.) I just don't think in his mind he ever pictured a family with three kids. He comes from a family with two kids, and his parents each came from a family with two kids. Same with me. We'd really be breaking the mold. But he knows this is an issue for me and so he is willing to discuss the possibility. And of course any decision we make, I strongly believe needs to be a decision we are both comfortable with.

I love being a mom. I don't want to look back and regret not having a third because I was afraid. But I also want to do what is right for our family. I just don't know what that is.

She's a poet - and I didn't even know it!

2008-05-07T14:03:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I took the kids to the playground. I sat on the bench while they skipped around from one structure to the next, because you know, it was HOT. Not that I’m complaining or anything – I’m just saying.

Anyways, Sweet Pea came over to me at one point, and we had the following conversation:

Her: “You know I’m a poet?”

Me: “Really?”

Her: “See like a scientist would look at that tree over there and see leaves. But a poet would look at it and see a big green balloon.”

Me: “Um. That’s very interesting. Do you know what a poet is?”

Her: Silence….(I think she thinks she has just explained it to me and she does not understand why I don’t get it.)

Me: “A poet is someone who writes poems.”

Her: “Well there are two kinds of poets.”

Me: “Ahhhhh.”

And she’s not wrong. I mean, I know what she was trying to say, even if she did not quite put it into words. I thought it was very insightful. It will be so interesting to see what she decides to be when she grows up. She is very creative and artistic – something I am not, but also logical and systematic – which I tend to be. Put the two together and I guess that explains why she’s such a pistol!

JJ missed the conversation. He was too busy telling anyone on the playground who would listen about his super powers. He has already declared he will be Spiderman when he grows up. I wonder if one needs to attend college to become Spiderman? Think of all the money we could save!

Another Milestone

2008-04-30T09:43:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a big day. Sweet Pea lost her first tooth! It fell out at school and the Nurse gave her this little tooth treasure box to carry home her little baby tooth.

She was so excited, as we were driving home from school she said, “Am I dreaming or did I really loose my tooth.”

The Tooth Fairy left her this very nice letter:

The Tooth Fairy
1 Fairy Lane
Fairyland

Dear Abby,

Congratulations on loosing your first tooth! Loosing your first tooth is a very exciting and special event. For that reason, here is $5 for you. I did receive your letter requesting new markers, but I thought you might enjoy picking them out yourself. So use this money for your new markers, or something else of your choice. Ask your parents to take you shopping some time soon.

Congratulations again and I look forward to more visits in the near future.

Love and Fairly Dust,

The Tooth Fairy

Yes, I know it says, "Fairly Dust," not "Fairy Dust." I guess even the tooth fairy makes typos.

And I know $5 seems like a lot, but you know it was the first tooth - and markers ain't cheap these days.

I've been a mom for just about 6 1/2 years, but for some reason becoming the "Tooth Faily" was one of those truly defining moments for me when you know you are REALLY a parent now. Like a formal initiation into parenthood or something - in case all the poopy diapers, throw-up and whining were not enough to make you feel legit.

A Star is Born - if only for the week

2008-04-23T10:25:00.005-04:00

This past week was school vacation week. Since JJ's pre-school was open, I decided not to take the week off from work. So I needed to find something for Sweet Pea to do for the week. By coincidence, a parent of one of Sweet Pea's friends mentioned an introduction to musical theater "vacation week camp" at our local rec center. And the production for the week - High School Musical 2. They spend all week learning songs, dances and lines, and then on Friday, there is a performance.

When I mentioned this to Sweet Pea she was excited about it at first. Then when she heard about the performance she was less thrilled. Despite her "theatrics" at home, she is not one to like to be in the spotlight. And I use that term loosely. She doesn't like to do ANYTHING where she thinks all eyes will be focused on her, even if in fact all eyes are not focused on her. But this was High School Musical - perhaps she could get past the rest.

She went back and forth about wanting to enroll. Several of her friends were doing it so that was a big draw and of course they all LOVE high school musical. I was kind of indifferent about her doing it, though the price for the week certainly beat any other childcare options out there. I also thought that once she got there, she'd love it - the songs, dancing with her friends, even if the anxiety leading up to it would be torture for all of us.

So we made a deal. She would go the first day, and if she hated it, or just did not want to go back, we would make other arrangements for the rest of the week. I had no idea what the other arrangements might be - perhaps a day at work with her Dad, a day with me, and a day with her Nana. I did not mentioned this possibility to her or should would opted out right there and then. (She loves to go work with her Dad. She's actually never been with me.) But I did not want this to be a bad experience for her and if she didn't like it. I did not want her to feel forced to be there. I remember that feeling as a kid - it's lousy. Especially when its something that is supposed to be fun, not a "must-do."

The night before the first day she FREAKED out. And you know what the biggest issue was for her? She did not want to eat lunch there. Why, you ask? I have no idea. She had this problem in the beginning of kindergarten too. Lunch was an issue - she hardly ate. I told her I'd send anything she wanted but of course she didn't know what that would be. All this from a child who has been in daycare since she was 6 months old - most of it full-time. UHG!

In the midsts of her freaking out she was yelling, "Sign me off, Sign me off." It was so pathetic. So I reminded her of the "deal" and we agreed not to talk about lunch, at least not until the morning when I needed to pack it. She was okay the rest of the night - if you consider regressing to the point she had to sleep in our bed with us okay, something she has not done in...... I don't even know how long.

In the morning, she seemed surprisingly excited. I think the fact that the day was finally here was a big relief for her. (And another reminder for me that the anticipation of these things is usually WAY WORSE then when she actually has to go do it.) So off we went - early as usual since she cannot stand to be late. (She gets that from me....one of my better qualities I think. Well, at least not one of my worst qualities.)

When we got there, we ended up going up and down steps trying to find the room they were in. By the time we found it, her friends had also arrived and off they went. I was slightly less than thrilled that the teachers were not there yet, as it was already 9 AM. Apparently they were stuck in traffic so one of the center's administrative staff were checking the kids in - if you can call it that. As a side, there is nothing like that feeling when you have just left your kid in the hands of complete strangers and you have to take the leap of faith that they'll be there when you get back. I mean, not that I have ever left them with complete strangers. It just feels that way. And it was the town rec center. They don't really qualify as strangers... Gulp.

So off I went to work.

When I got there to pick her up they were working on set designs, I think, if you can really call them that. I could see them through the window of the door to the gym they were in. She seemed okay. Perhaps a little bleary eyes and dazed from the long day. (They were full days, 9-4). When the kids were let out, we had to sign them out. (I felt much better now that clearly there was some tracking of the kids.) Her first response seemed positive. It has been a good time. We said good-by to her friends and headed off to the car. She showed me the script. I was impressed - this was serious stuff.

And then she freaked again. She had to practice all night long. And by "practice" she meant she had to learn the songs by reading them word for word. When I suggested perhaps we just listen to the CD she said, "That's cheating." Hum. And keep in mind, she already knows most, if not all the songs from seeing the movie a hundred times. It is now entirely clear to me she is beyond exhausted and completely incapable of being rational. So we decided to put it to rest for the night.

It was at this point I felt so guilty about doing this to her. She is an intense person. A nd a perfectionist. These kinds of activities, that are just supposed to be fun, are often not for her. And I guess I hadn't really thought about that.

So I gave her an out. But you know what, she didn't take it. She may be many things, but she is not a quitter.

And so she carried on through the week, and did great! She was exhausted, but excited about each next day. So much so that the anxiety about the performance seemed fleeting. Finally, my guilt was replaced with overwhelming pride for my daughter who over came her own anxieties to just have fun, and with my own personal satisfaction to have exposed her to something that she will look back on and feel a sense of accomplishment about.

Pathetic but true.....

2008-04-16T17:55:00.005-04:00

That I actually look forward to such things as, my eye doctor's appointment. Why you ask? Because it is the most relaxing part of my day. When else do I get to sit on my a$$, read trashy magazines while I wait to be seen, and not feel guilty that I'm not doing something else like laundry or cleaning up the crap slathered around the house.

It turns out my chronically red eyes are due to dry eye. My contact wear does not help the issue. And apparently the weather too also has an impact. My optometrist inserted these permanent "plugs" - these tiny little umbrella like things (without the sharp edges, eck!) into the corner of my eyes to stop the tears from, as she described it, going down the drain. Hopefully I will no longer look like one of those cartoon characters with the creepy blood-shot eyes.

I think I might have bugged the optometrist too. I was so enjoying my time, ALONE, that I was so chatty. Granted most of my chit chat was about my eye aliment but I kept the questions coming. I think she was happy to see me go.

So sad. I don't get to go back for another 6 months.

Mondays and Pie

2008-04-14T12:10:00.009-04:00

I hate Mondays. I particularly hate Mondays when both my kids are on the verge of illness and I have 1001 things that need to get done at work this week, and its ONLY Monday. It is not good. And so now, instead of, or should I say, in addition to simply worrying about the 1001 things that must get done, I am also waiting on the edge of my seat for the call to come. You know the call:

"Hi Mrs. So and So. This is [blank]. [Blank] is okay. But he/she has a 102 fever and you have to come get him/her."

This really gets me. Clearly, if he/she has a 102 fever, he/she is not okay. I appreciate them letting me know right off the bat that he/she is not dead or something, but why start the conversation like that - get my hopes us that perhaps you are not calling to tell me he/she is sick but rather for some other, rather unimportant piece of information. Like, you love the smell of my sons shampoo and you must have it so would I be so kind as to tell you what kind of shampoo I use on his hair. (Yes, this was a REAL phone call that I received at work. Of course I was so thrilled they were not calling to tell me his was sick, I didn't even mind.)

*******
On another note, I think I want to open a bakery and bake pies all day. I have always enjoyed baking but just in the past couple years have I really started to perfect my skills. And I'm talking REAL pie - with homemade pie crust. I have a problem making pie with a store made pie crust. I do it when I'm in a pinch, but I feel like a fraud. If you make a pie, but don't actually make the pie crust - did you really make the pie? I suppose so. But for me, homemade pie crust makes it the real deal.

Jonathan and I hosted a family dinner last night in honor of my sister's birthday. It was just the family.....all 15 of us. It was nothing fancy. Burgers, salad and homemade french fries (which were awesome!). For dessert, at my sister's request I made Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pie. It's become kind of my signature pie. It was SO delicious - not to toot my own horn - anything with butter, sugar, chocolate and vanilla can't be bad.

I wonder if I made pies for a living if I would still hate Mondays. That would be a true test.

A conversation to remember

2008-04-09T18:36:00.003-04:00

We've been teasing the kids lately, telling them that if they get bigger they will be in big trouble. They think its hilarious when we get "mad" at them for getting big. The other day JJ and I had the following conversation.

JJ - Mommy, I can't stay your baby. I have to grow big. So I can be Superman and rescue people.

Mom - Oh? Well, who then will be my baby?

JJ - Well, we could get you a new baby, at the Store.

Priceless.

Do we do this to ourselves?

2008-04-08T19:43:00.003-04:00

I know I am not alone in my guilty over the choices I make as a mother who works outside the home. (Lord knows all mothers have guilt.) What I cannot figure out is am I creating this guilt for myself? And if not, where is it coming from? Let me explain:

When Sweet Pea was in daycare, or pre-school, there were a few events, maybe 2 or 3 a year that parents were asked to attend during the day. And because our kids went to a full-time daycare/preschool, most, if not all, the children who went there had parents that work. So most of the center-run, or sponsored activities, took place after work.

But when you enter the elementary school years, this is not the case. I am finding there are many, MANY things parents are asked to attend at the most inconvenient times for working parents. There are parties. There are field trips. There are plays. There are “peek weeks” for EVERY “special” class, i.e. P.E., art, music. And of course these class times are smack in the middle of the morning. Granted they only last an half hour but when you have to commute 40 minutes to work and you only work PT this does not leave you with much face time in the office – not to mention work time.

It’s not only the logistics of how to get there that make it so hard, but the emotional stress it adds to an already chaotic life and schedule. It can be so overwhelming. It’s just another item on a long list of reasons why it so hard to be a great mom and a great employee.

I love that our school has all this parent involvement. I really do. But what are working parents supposed to do? Not go? This would never fly with my child – and rightfully so. It doesn’t fly with me either. I want to be there. But how many times in one month can you really tell you boss that you won’t be in until 11 AM, and you leave at 2:30? Again, I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.

Last month, when I had to go Sweet Pea’s P.E. class for peek week, I was planning to lie and tell my boss I had a doctor’s appointment. Somehow in my mind this felt like a more acceptable excuse for being late to work. Why, I have no idea. In the end, I decided the truth was better. I know I am so ethical like that. No actually, I am not. It simply hit me. Was it WRONG to want to go to my child’s school event? Could any rational person really think this was the wrong choice? I didn’t think so either. But it helped that I knew my boss would understand. I have a great boss. She does not have kids but somehow she totally gets it. But I have had bosses that don’t. I know a lot of people who have bosses that don’t.

And what about the Dads? Hey, I mean, if I was afraid to tell my boss what I was doing, I would think there are many a men out there who might have also have a hard time telling their boss they need to miss that important meeting because, “Well I’d really love to attend my child’s kindergarten music class.” Yeah, I'm sure that will go over well.

And it’s only going to get worse. With eventually two kids in elementary school, (I am getting heart palpitation just thinking about it), I’ll never make it to work.

But you know what? I’ve decided I am no longer going to simply add this to my list of reasons why I’m either a terrible parent or a terrible employee (depending on the day). It’s important to me and my kid to be there, at least to as many as possible. This is my priority. I will never look back and wished I worked that one day (or ten as the case may be). I know some of it doesn’t sound all that important. But it is. To be a part of their day, if only for one day, or one part of one day, is something I will always remember. And they will remember me being there. (And they sure as heck would remember me not being there). And until someone has an issue with it, I have decided I will NOT feel guilty about making this choice.

Except that I will. Why do we do this to ourselves?

TUI

2008-04-08T12:39:00.005-04:00

Finally, a diagnosis. I suffer from "TUI," Time, Urgency/Impatience syndrome. And according to this article I have all the symptoms. I get upset while waiting. I tend to eat fast. (Sometime I think I might actually choke myself). And I generally feel time pressured ALL THE TIME.

I always knew there was something wrong with me. I just didn't know it really had a name. In addition to the above symptoms I have others. I walk fast, always. On Fridays, when I don't work, I still rush around in the morning. When we are driving anywhere, especially when I am not the one actually driving, I cannot stand being behind people who drive too slow. And I hate traffic, to an extreme. It makes me crazy. It makes Jonathan crazy too. Not the traffic, me in the traffic. When I can't take it anymore and I blurt out some obnoxious comment like, "Can't you just go around them?" His response is, "What is your problems? We're not in a rush." But that's exactly it. I AM in a rush. Granted, I have no idea why.

It is kind of funny there is an actually name for this but it really does suck to have it. It's no joke. It's exhausting to always be in a rush. It explains why I an unable to stay awake past 9 PM, sometimes even earlier. Well, that and the two little creatures of mine who suck the life out of me each and every day. It's ironic too because I consider myself a relatively lazy person. You wouldn't think a lazy person would suffer from a syndrome which requires such exertion. But here I am, living proof.

The article does offer a few suggestions to help easy the effects. They recommend taking a one minute pause in your day to read a funny e-mail or dance with your partner. Yeah, I'm a sure a whole minute would do wonders. And ah, yeah, I'll get right on that dancing thing.

They also suggest a simply reminder to yourself to slow down. Yeah, I suppose that could work but I don't think this will serve as any kind cure for people who have spent their entire lives hurrying.

And finally, they suggest the "no-tech zone." You know, put away all those technological devices that keep you so connected so that you take time out to relax. I suppose this too may help for some people. But not people like me who turn to my technology to escape the reality of my life. This is where I read the paper, and those funny e-mails and blogs.

The only time in my life I can remember not being in a hurry all the time was when I was pregnant. I don't know if it was the hormones that somehow relaxed my brain and body or if I was just simply physically unable to move that fast. Maybe both.

I doubt they'll every really be a cure. But I suspect as I get older my symptoms may not be so severe, if again, only because I am physically unable to move so fast. It is somewhat gratifying to at least have a name to put on it. And when Jonathan asks me what my problem is, at least I will have a legitimate response. (Well, I'll think it's legitimate. He'll just add it to the list of reasons why he thinks I'm crazy.)

Playdate rule book

2008-04-05T07:25:00.006-04:00

Now let me just say, I realize that some kids are not socially ready to have a drop off play date and so these rules might not apply to them. However, there of many out there, who are in fact ready, yet their parents appear not to be. And so these are for them:

1) If your child is over 4 do not assume you need to stay for the duration of the play date. In fact seize this opportunity to not only develop your child's independence but to give yourself a little downtime, relax and simply try to enjoy the gift of time FOR YOURSELF!

2) If you make a play date with a "friend" and the "plan" is to drop your kid off, do not call the 1/2 hour before the play date is suppose to start, (which may also happen to be a Sunday morning), tell the "friend" that in fact your husband is bring your child, has decided he will stay AND he will be bringing their 2 year old along for the fun.

For those saying, "Well, what's the big deal?" The big deal is, the "friends" may not have signed up for two hours of entertaining other adults and in fact may have had plans to try to get somethings done around their house during the play date. After all, isn't that some of the benefits of a play date? The children can help entertain each other so you can perhaps fold some laundry? Now, I 'm not suggesting you go about your business without properly supervising the children - of course, but many of these kids are now at an age when they can engage in some play independently with you not far away. Right?

3) If you are going to stay, do discipline your children when they start jumping on the beds. Especially when you have had a older child fall off the bed when jumping who had to be rushed to the emergency room when fluid started leaking from his ear. And when a simple, "Please don't jump on the bed [insert name here]," does not work, more effect means of communication may be necessary.

4) When you have already been at the "friends" house for two hours, and they are clearly trying to get ready to go out (as they said they would need to prior to the play date) do take the hint and get the heck out.

5) Don't be surprise that when failing to following rules 1-4, your "friends" do not call you again and invite your child over for another play date any time soon.